BEFORE: Took the Amtrak back to NYC this morning (Acela this time - no more regional service for me, after last weekend...) and made my way through a couple crosswords from my bag, and the June issue of MAD Magazine, which had a Bond parody, in which all 5 previous Bonds comment on Daniel Craig's performances in his three films. I didn't want to read any spoilers about "Skyfall", so I'm holding on to the article until I get there. It's still a funny coincidence, though...
Roger Moore carries over from "The Man With the Golden Gun" for his 3rd Bond film...which I probably know the details of from reading MAD Magazine back in the day. But reading the MAD spoof is hardly the same as seeing the whole film from front to back.
THE PLOT: James Bond investigates the hijacking of British and Russian submarines carrying nuclear warheads with the help of a KGB agent whose lover he killed.
AFTER: This is not, repeat NOT, a re-hash of "You Only Live Twice". That film had Bond going to Japan, where an evil villain was trying to start World War III by hijacking U.S. and Soviet rockets. This film has Bond going to Sardinia, where an evil villain is trying to start World War III by hijacking U.S. and Soviet submarines. See? Totally different.
I kid, we're back to the basic formula - evil genius has a plan with some super-duper flashy technology, and he decides to hold the world hostage or blow it up, whichever becomes more convenient for him in the end. What they added this time was another counterpart for Bond, a female Russian agent who also uses sex as a bargaining technique - they can be frenemies for a while, but you just know they're gonna end up in bed together sooner or later, right?
I'm still seeing slight improvements in the film technology, we're not really at "Star Wars" level yet, maybe more like on par with "The Black Hole". They were still cheaping out on things like the skiing scenes - every shot of Bond skiing is either from very far away, meaning it's likely a stuntman, or it's a shot of Roger Moore against an extremely fake rear-projection mountain, that moves in almost a completely different direction than it would if he were really skiing past it. It's really a shame that green-screen wasn't more prominent at the time, even that might look better.
One of these films is going to wow me with its high production values and rise above an average score, I just know it. But not yet. The ocean models of the villain's submersible hideout, and the giant tanker ship come close - they almost look real, but since I know that they're NOT real, my mind immediately figured out that they were scale models, shot in slow-motion.
LOCATIONS: Austria, Egypt, Sardinia
VILLAINS: Karl Stromberg, Jaws, Sandor
BABES: Major Anya Amasova (aka Agent XXX), Naomi
ALLIES: M, Q, Moneypenny, Gen. Gogol
PASTIMES: Skiing, Egyptian dancing
CARS: Lotus Esprit S1 turbo sports car (adaptable Perry submarine-car)
GADGETS: Ski-pole rifle, microfilm reader, jet-ski (also see "cars")
THEME: "Nobody Does It Better" by Carly Simon. Composed by Marvin Hamlisch with lyrics by Carole Bayer Sager, I think this is one of the few Bond themes (along with "Live and Let Die") that manage to rise above the medium. Some were hits on their own, and remain popular on radio, unlike, say, "Thunderball".
Also starring Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell, Desmond Llewellyn (all also carrying over from "The Man With the Golden Gun"), Barbara Bach, Curd Jürgens, Richard Kiel (last heard in "Tangled"), Caroline Munro, Shane Rimmer, Walter Gotell (last seen in "From Russia With Love") and cameos from TWO "Star Wars" actors - Jeremy "Boba Fett" Bulloch and Garrick "Biggs" Hagon.
RATING: 5 out of 10 torpedoes
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