BEFORE: I managed to watch one movie while in San Diego, I'll count it for Thursday, July 21, in order to send a Birthday SHOUT-out to Robin Williams, born July 21, 1951. A full Comic-Con report may be filed here later, but suffice it to say I was extremely busy, setting up the booth, selling books and DVDs at the booth, and then working at evening signings. I barely had time to hit my favorite restaurants, and when I wasn't at the booth, I was trying to walk around the convention floor - so movies weren't on the agenda, though I watched half of this film on Thursday night and the other half on Friday. My apologies to Philip Seymour Hoffman, whose birthday fell on Saturday - I had to skip a SHOUT-out, and I'll have to watch his films later on.
THE PLOT: The sailor-man travels to a town called Sweet Haven, falls in love with Olive Oyl, adopts Swee'Pea, and makes an enemy with Bluto.
AFTER: Obviously I didn't watch this film under ideal conditions - I was exhausted and suffering from convention-related sensory overload. Definitely hard to concentrate, but I'm still fairly sure this was a terrible, terrible film. Made in 1980, before the wave of comic-book/comic-strip films really took hold, it suffers from not really getting the formula of a comic character film right.
Unbelievably, this was directed by acclaimed filmmaker Robert Altman - best known for highbrow stuff like "The Player", "Short Cuts", "Nashville" and "Gosford Park" - what made anyone think he could tackle a lowbrow comedy, with people playing live-action cartoon characters with funny voices?
I barely know where to begin with this one, since it's ill-conceived, poorly acted, there's no discernable plot or story-arc, I couldn't figure out anyone's motivations or the WHY of anything that was happening. There's no origin for Popeye - he just turns up in a weird ramshackle town, looking for his father. Where did he come from? Why does he think his father is in the town of Sweetwater? All we know about him is that he's a sailor.
Then he meets Olive Oyl - and thanks to the addition of a missing baby, they form a couple. But the movie neglects to explain why they're attracted to each other, or show them falling in love, it just seems like a done deal because that's what the story needs to be. It barely even explains why she falls out of love with Bluto.
The songs are repetitive - I'd barely even call the same phrase over and over, set to music, a song. And Robin Williams saying Popeye's catchphrases set to music are even worse. Sample "song" lyric: I yam what I yam what I yam what I yam, and that's all that I am. (repeat)
There's a boxing match, and a baby that can predict horse races, and Popeye hates spinach at first, which was confusing - does he learn to like it, or does he just eat it so he can beat people up? Then there's all this anti-tax collector stuff, so it's sort of a Tea Party-friendly film. But when Popeye finds his father, I still didn't understand - was he the Commodore, or was Bluto the Commodore? If they were working together, why did Bluto have him tied up?
Am I asking too much here, thinking that a movie should make some kind of sense. Or you know, tell me what's going on.
Also starring Shelley Duvall (last seen in "The Shining"), Paul Dooley (last seen in "Going Berserk"), Ray Walston (last seen in "Silver Streak"), with cameos from Richard Libertini (last seen in "Nell"), Donovan Scott (last seen in "1941"), and Bill Irwin.
RATING: 1 out of 10 hamburgers
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