BEFORE: Because it's March 1, get it? And it fits in with the theme of geeky guys and hot chicks. Linking from last night, Jay Baruchel was in "Knocked Up" with Seth Rogen, who was in "Pineapple Express" with Craig Robinson, who is in tonight's film.
THE PLOT: A young man awakens from a four-year coma to hear that his once virginal high-school sweetheart has since become a centerfold in one of the world's most famous men's magazines.
AFTER: Ugh, this was completely contemptible and un-redeemable. Except for Craig Robinson (last seen in "Zack and Miri Make a Porno"), the acting here is just terrible across the board. The two lead actors are like 3rd-rate clones of Jim Carrey and Sean William Scott, but they're not fit to shine those actors' shoes. They can't deliver one line believably (every point has to be made three times, at least), and every horrible slapstick move is telegraphed horribly.
Plus, it's appalling how much of the humor is based on violence against women (and in one case, a small dog, also unforgivable), and said women are either mindless centerfold models or raging mindless she-demons. The multiple pee and poop jokes also help to establish a new comedic low point.
Additionally, there's no internal logic to speak of. Kidnapping someone from the hospital to fly him across the country - when he's got no clothes or I.D. on him? And the back-up plan is then to, what - drive across the country in 2 days, a feat which can't be done in that time-frame? Really? The audience is just supposed to not notice this? And how come a character who's epileptic goes into a seizure when she sees a strobe light (this is somehow a key plot point), but later stands in a parking lot, surrounded by fire-trucks with flashing lights, and is unaffected?
It's like someone wasn't even trying to tell a proper story, and then put the film in the hands of actors who aren't the slightest bit believable, even though they're playing morons. How stupid do you have to be to not even be able to play stupid right?
Starring two actors, I don't even want to learn their names, because it's quite clear they should never be allowed to appear in another film ever, plus Molly Stanton, Cedric Yarbrough (last seen in "Four Christmases"), and Hugh Hefner.
Seriously, where did they find these guys? "The Whitest Kids U Know"? Great, remind me to NEVER watch that comedy show. This movie is for the people who couldn't quite get the high intellectual content of "Dumb & Dumber".
RATING: 1 out of 10 involuntary bowel movements (I'm seriously wondering if the scale should go down to zero, rather than 1)
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