BEFORE: Time to check in with our old buddy Clint Eastwood - and I better get an explanation of who or what an "Eiger" is, and why it's being sanctioned.
THE PLOT: An classical art professor and collector, who doubles as a professional assassin, is coerced out of retirement to avenge the murder of an old friend.
AFTER: Clint Eastwood (last seen in "The Rookie") plays Professor Jonathan Hemlock (great name!) who seems to be an odd mix of James Bond, Indiana Jones and Thomas Crown - an ex-spy and assassin for hire who has an appreciation for fine art. (and the ladies - aw, yeah...)
He's also an experienced mountain climber, so when "Eiger" turns out to be a mountain, he's the only choice for an agent to join an international climbing team to figure out which member is an agent for the "other side" (Russians) who has been killing other agents on "our side".
The problem is, the mountain is essentially un-climbable, and it's already kicked Hemlock's ass twice. But really, climbing the mountain isn't the mission, it's just a framing device for finding the enemy agent.
On paper, this one really should have worked - we've got a squinty, tough guy assassin/hero, a mystery man/precious commodity to search for, lots of great scenery, plus we're surrounded by danger at every turn - the mountain, ice-axes, those really sharp pointy things on the climbers' boots...
But I ended up feeling let down. There are some plot elements that never really get resolved (microfilm? what microfilm?) and the reveal of the enemy agent also failed to thrill. Plus, I know dick about mountain-climbing, and even I spotted some head-scratching goofs.
As for Eastwood playing a Bond-type, he sleeps with two women of color (an African-American and a Native American), which seems sort of progressive for 1975, but his girlfriend's name, Jemima Brown, seems like a step backwards. Plus, one of Hemlock's old rivals is such a flaming gay stereotype (his dog is named "Faggot"? Seriously?), it's pretty embarrassing.
And Hemlock's old boss, Dragon, seems like a weird combination of Bond's M and Blofeld - he's an albino ex-Nazi with a speech impediment that needs to get his blood changed regularly. What exactly was the point of all that?
This movie couldn't decide whether to play it straight, or to go over the top. The James Bond franchise often goes to one extreme or the other - if they play it too straight, you get "The Living Daylights", but if they go too campy, you get "Moonraker" or "Octopussy". This one tried to aim right down the middle.
Also starring George Kennedy (last seen in "The Flight of the Phoenix"), Vonetta McGee, and Jack Cassidy.
RATING: 5 out of 10 pitons
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