BEFORE: I took some time off this weekend, and I went to a Craft Beer Festival in Long Island City - 2 oz. samples of many different beers, but I can usually drink enough 2 oz. samples to equal a rather large portion of beer, enough to ensure a long nap when I got home - and then we drove up Sunday to hit the last day of the annual Renaissance Faire in Tuxedo Park, NY. Now it's late Sunday night, and I've got to get back into my routine. I've got a busy week coming up, too - I'm playing in a high-stakes team trivia game tomorrow, plus it's NYC Craft Beer Week, so I've lined up a couple of beer dinners to attend. Hopefully my team will win the trivia game, to cover the cost of the beer dinners...
THE PLOT: Two terminally ill men escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die.
AFTER: Huh, a film that exceeded my expectations - I was thinking this was just going to be some fluff about old guys having a final fling at their dreams, but there was some heart to this one, along with some bite. I was expecting something crappy like "Wild Hogs", but this was touching in a very different way.
There were a few parts that seemed a little gratuitous - I wonder if we were actually watching the actors crossing famous locations off of their own personal wish lists - like the Great Pyramids, or the Great Wall of China. I'm guessing some special-effects trickery was involved - you don't actually get mega-stars to do their own drag-racing, but the movie shoot was still probably more fun than work. My one complaint is the movie plot was only possible because Nicholson's character was super-rich - I'm all for seniors spending their money in their golden years, but if both characters were on a fixed income, we'd be looking at a totally different movie.
I did enjoy that Nicholson played the first character I've seen in a film whose views on the afterlife mirror my own - namely that there probably isn't a life after this one, so you've got to make the most of your time on Earth. But if there is a heaven, well, hey, even better - I win. Not that it matters, since my plan is to live forever - so far, so good.
But what's on MY bucket list, you might wonder? Well, for the most part, you're soaking in it. (It sounds vulgar, but I'm referencing a set of ads from the 1970's where we were led to believe that people would soak their hands in dishwashing liquid at a nail salon. People in the 70's were crazy like that, always switching restaurant coffee with Folger's crystals and so on...) One of my bosses gave me one of those "Things to Do When You Turn 40" books as a birthday gift, and although I had no interest in skydiving or swimming with sharks, it did cause me to think about how I wanted to prioritize my time, which led to the formation of this blog.
But beyond that? I'm a man of simple desires - an innovative pairing of food and beer on my table, and I'm usually satisfied. But I suppose I do have goals - I'd love to get a real shot as a contestant on "Jeopardy!" someday, or "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" - I've passed their written tests several times each, but can't seem to get chosen for the shows. Either I'm not "TV-pretty" or my personality isn't impressing the producers.
Other than that, I'd like to get humanity to stop using the words "basically", "literally", "actually" and "technically" so much, especially when most people use them incorrectly. Here's a tip - if you take that word out, and the sentence means the exact same thing without it, it's better to leave it out. Basically, they're just flavoring words. Technically, they're just flavoring words. (See what I mean?)
Of course, I'd like to travel more - who wouldn't? But screw the 7 Wonders - only one of the originals is still standing (the Pyramids) - so how wonderful can they be? If I could go anywhere, I'd go back to Germany and just tool around, making sure to stop in Munich in late September - the famous OktoberFest is having it's 200th Anniversary this year, and I'm sure that's a party and a half. I was 15 when I visited the motherland, (or is it fatherland?) and while it was fun, I really should go back as an adult.
And while some people might have "Win an Oscar" on their list, I've got a strange twist on my list. My goal is to be thanked in an Oscar speech. See? Much more attainable, and for me, maybe even possible. Again, I'm a man of simple desires. If I can get a few friends together for my upcoming birthday (my 4th Annual "39th Birthday") and raise a few at a bar, I'll be happy. See, it's called Happy Hour for a reason...
Oh, yeah, and I almost forgot about that 12-egg omelette at the Broken Yolk Diner in San Diego. I better add that to the bucket list - and a few other eating challenges as well...
Also starring Morgan Freeman (last seen in "10 Items or Less"), Sean Hayes, and Rob Morrow.
RATING: 8 out of 10 sherpas
JACK-O-METER: 9 out of 10. Gotta rate this one pretty high, since Jack takes his persnickety grumpy-pants persona to an all-time peak. It's a spin on Nicholson characters we've seen before (a string of failed marriages, being very particular about his likes and dislikes), but his terminal condition adds a particular FTW attitude.
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