BEFORE: It's Saturday Night, Day 4 of Comic-Con, and it was a long day yesterday, between setting up, selling DVDs, then closing the booth and selling a few more over at the Chuck Jones Gallery, where we had an event. Today I was mostly walking around, taking pictures of people dressed in sci-fi and superhero costumes, and my feet are feeling worn out. Usually at this point I'd take a nap in my hotel, then head out for a late dinner - but there's some kind of promotional event taking place (the hype-fest around the Con seems to get bigger every year) - and it sounds like fireworks or explosions, or a loud thumping sound of some kind, followed by a crowd cheering after each blast. Either it's a rave, or they've stormed the Bastille...either way, a nap is out of the question. So I'll put my tired feet up and watch a movie on the computer.
This was the 2nd of the competing "Security Guard" films that got released last year.
THE PLOT: When a shopping mall is overtaken by a gang of organized crooks, it's up to the a mild-mannered security guard to save the day.
AFTER: There are many, many similarities to last night's film - if I worked for whichever film studio got ripped off by the other, I'd certainly tighten up security (Oh, the irony...). Kevin James plays Paul Blart, and like Seth Rogen he's a doughy guy, playing a character who's naive or delusional, and has another affliction (bi-polar disease last night, hypoglycemia tonight).
But I'll give the edge to tonight's film due to better villains. Seth Rogen's character only went up against one flasher and some drug dealers, and Kevin James' unlikely hero goes up against a band of high-tech thieves, who are robbing the mall on Black Friday. It makes sense, that's when a mall does so much business...
The cleverness (and I use the term loosely) comes when Paul Blart has to take down the skateboarding, BMX-bike riding or parkour-jumping crooks, using the resources he has on hand, found in the various stores in the mall.
Also starring Jayma Mays (from the Fox show "Glee"), Adam Ferrara (from the FX show "Rescue Me"), Bobby Cannavale (from "Will & Grace"), veteran actress Shirley Knight, and character actor Peter Gerety (last seen in "Inside Man"). Cameo from Gary Valentine (Kevin James' brother) as a karaoke singer.
Comic-Con Report continued: If Comic-Con is a promotional war, then Saturday is its Tet Offensive. And just like in a real war, those of us in the trenches see a very, very different battle from what you might see on TV... However, this means we're over the hump, with just one day of floor sales to go. By Saturday our promo events are over, and I get a little more time to walk around.
Which is good, because even though the Con was mainly a sausage-fest on Thursday, by Friday the girls (and girlz, and gurls...) started to show up. Friday seemed to be "wear a corset" day, there must have been a memo, and by Saturday more of the busty superheroines showed up, along with a fair amount of Slave Leias.
Comic-Con is a great place for vendors to meet customers, for stars to meet fans, and for exhibitionists to meet picture-takers such as myself. I'm strictly "look but don't touch", but I bet there are a lot of costumed hook-ups here. You just know that Superman and Wonder Woman (or Superman and Batman, I don't judge...) are going back to the hotel and getting freaky with it after. Once again, rumors abound about superhero and/or Star Wars burlesque shows taking place in after-hours clubs, but I always seem to learn about the location two days later.
Though I did see Natalie Portman from a distance - she got snuck in to sign some posters for a film called "Hesher". I had my picture taken 5 years ago with her arm around me, so I wasn't as impressed as some of the other people in the crowd. We also saw TV's Pauly Shore, and our booth was visited by acclaimed animator Ralph Bakshi, but that was about it for celebrity encounters this year. I missed Penn + Teller's appearance, and also the "Mythbusters" panel, since they both started at 7:15, and I have to remain at our booth after the main floor closes at 7, until I get the "all clear" from security.
I seem to have taken the role of Ian Faith from "This Is Spinal Tap" - he's the band's manager, and he has this great rant about how he's always called upon to find lost luggage, or mandolin strings in the middle of Austin. And how there's no sex and drugs for Ian... Similarly, I'm called upon to be the first one at our booth each morning, to do the set-up, and the last one to leave at night, and in between I have to get sandwiches and sodas, and search for mylar sleeves to hold animation art, which are never available from any vendor at the convention. That's the job...and if I do it well, I get to do it again next July.
My first batch of Comic-Con photos, in a chronological set:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/66064297@N00/sets/72157624592163498/
RATING: 6 out of 10 security codes
"Blart" got my ultimate vote of "no confidence":
ReplyDelete1) I paid $3.99 to rent it from the iTunes store.
2) I watched the first 10 minutes.
3) I stopped watching.
I should mention that I was on a 5 hour flight and this was the only new movie I had on my laptop. Yes, I preferred the SkyMall catalogue to more of this movie.