BEFORE: Probably a very stupid movie - but it ties in with my chain, and I promised not to pre-judge. I will say that it makes sense that an alien trying to take over the world wouldn't look like E.T. or a glowing floaty creature - it would look like Kim Basinger, or someone equally as hot. Or maybe a big friendly panda-shaped Brian Dennehy...
THE PLOT: An alien is sent on a secret mission to Earth, where she appears as a gorgeous, attractive, and single lady...
AFTER: Wow, watching this movie was a very bad idea. I regret adding this to my chain.
Except for Kim Basinger's late-80's hotness, and her 47 costume changes that include many sheer + see-through things, there is absolutely nothing redeeming about this movie at all...
I simply could not believe one line of dialogue - I just kept thinking, "No one on the planet even TALKS this way." Which is fine for a character who's an alien, but the dialogue from the humans just isn't lifelike either.
I usually appreciate Dan Aykroyd, but even as a geek in "Spies Like Us" he was more believable - here he's a astro-physicist (!) working for SETI who accidentally finds a way to transmit a faster-than-light message (!!) to another galaxy. This prompts a visit from a very sexxxy alien (Basinger) who doesn't understand Earth customs at all - it's like "Mork & Mindy" in reverse, except it's not at all funny.
The movie can't even stay consistent with itself - did the alien come to Earth in response to the transmitted beam? She says something about it threatening her planet, so why does she need him to send it again? Wouldn't that harm her planet more, or something? And she talks about things as if they've happened in the past, so is she a time-traveler, or is she just confused? I know I sure was...
Aykroyd's character ends up learning that there IS intelligent life (OK, let's just say "life") on other planets, and Basinger's character ends up learning about Earth concepts like eating food, getting married and having sex (not necessarily in that order...) And again we find out that an "advanced" civilization can be endlessly fascinated by our base Earth culture. Here it's Jimmy Durante - I don't know one person who likes Jimmy Durante movies, so clearly this was based on what stock footage they could afford - but it could just as easily have been Reese's Pieces, or sour milk, or Elvis records...
It's another movie that feels like it was made by people who had never, ever even SEEN a movie before, or who have any idea how to put one together. Hey, maybe it was MADE by aliens!
Also starring Jon Lovitz, Alyson Hannigan, Seth Green (in a cameo as perhaps the only believable character, a smarmy teen) and Harry Shearer (as the voice of Carl Sagan!)
RATING: 2 out of 10 VHS porno tapes (awarded solely to Ms. Basinger's hotness, the rest of the movie is for crap...)
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