Constantine

Day 280 - 10/7/09 - Movie #280

BEFORE: Another day, another demonic horror flick based on a comic book. This one's based on the DC/Vertigo comic "Hellblazer", featuring John Constantine. I don't know why someone thought the character's last name was more marketable than the name of a comic with a built-in audience. It would be like calling the Spider-Man movie "Parker" or the Hulk movie "Banner".

THE PLOT: The story of irreverent supernatural detective John Constantine, who has literally been to hell and back.

AFTER: If you crossed "The Exorcist" and "The Matrix" (the first one), you might get something like this film (The Matrixorcist?). Keanu Reeves plays Constantine, the only man who can both see possessions AND battle demons - demons, of course, are playing games with angels over the souls of humans. Angels, apparently, are gender-neutral Goth types who wear suits, enjoy nightclubs and (presumably) long walks on the beach, nights by the fire... There's a delicate balance between angels and demons, and the demons are trying to tip the scales by bringing the Devil's son into the world (it's more complicated here than it was in "The Omen" or "Rosemary's Baby"...) Constantine is trying to tip the scales of eternal justice the other way by banishing the demons back to hell, in the hopes that this will clean his own slate - he's got lung cancer, and would rather end up in heaven than hell (which is full of demons that he personally sent back there).

Even though this film covers some of the same territory as other films ("Spawn") and TV shows ("Reaper", "Brimstone") it feels like a new spin. However, there are a lot of little rules about how to fight demons, how to visit Hell (and come back), how to bring Satan into the world - but the audience isn't told any of the rules until they're necessary to the plot, which makes it seem like someone's making it up as they go along.

Remember, kids, smoking's not cool just because you see it in a movie. Did we mention enough times that our hero has untreatable lung cancer? Same goes for suicide, not cool - anyway, Constantine, when you slit your wrists, remember its "down the highway", not "across the street". Hollywood almost always gets that wrong...or maybe they don't want to encourage people to do it the "right" way. Oh, and this movie also suggests that if you stay under water in a bathtub long enough, you'll be able to see demons. Probably not recommended - kids, don't try this at home either.

Co-starring Rachel Weisz (who apparently didn't get her fill of the supernatural from all those "Mummy" movies...), Shia LaBeouf, Djimon Hounsou, Tilda Swinton as a male/female angel (great casting...) and Peter Stormare as "Lou", aka Lucifer (even better casting!). I'm still not sure that Keanu Reeves was the best choice for Constantine - I mean, I understand he puts asses in the seats, but someone with more gravitas, like Daniel Craig or even Ewan MacGregor, might have suited the character better. Also I think the DC character was British, and this version isn't British at all. I'll have to deduct a point.

On the whole, though, very clever-clever. This is everything the "Spawn" film wasn't - see, it's possible to give characters some clear motivations for WHY they do what they do!

RATING: 7 out of 10 coffin-nails (again, it could have been an 8 with a different actor...)

SPOOK-O-METER: 8 out of 10 (for graphic depictions of Hell and demonic possession - really, I don't want to see movies any scarier than this...I know, I'm a wimp)