BEFORE: When people learn that I watch horror movies all through October, they ask, "Wow, don't you get nightmares?" Well, no, not really, nothing similar to the movies I watch, though that did happen when I was a kid, I had nightmares about Dracula and Frankenstein's monster and a few killer ones after watching "Poltergeist". Last night I did have a stress dream for sure, but it was a work-related one. In the dream I found out that my ex-co-workers were all back working for my ex-boss, the animator, at the studio where I worked for 31 years. So then I was back there too, in solidarity I guess, or perhaps I was hanging out and got tricked into working there again, I just know I felt the stress once again of running an animation studio that is always running out of money, and I felt the fear of not knowing how much longer the company can stay in business without income. Then this kind of morphed into the "city dream", I had to get across town for work and while it definitely looked like a city, none of the buildings or streets were familiar.
Ah, I just found out that the New York Comic Con has started, this explains a lot, my body and my brain are still in that mode of expecting this big event around this time each year. I wasn't even consciously aware of the exact dates, but somehow my brain knew and it tormented me with the stress dream of working in the studio, packing up the merch and getting it all across town to the Javits Center. Thanks a lot, brain.
Ethan Hawke carries over again from "Daybreakers", that's five in a row, that's enough.
THE PLOT: A family's getaway to a luxurious rental home takes an ominous turn when a cyberattack knocks out their devices and two strangers appear at their door.
AFTER: This film is three years old, it's probably been on the main list and the horror sub-list for nearly that long, but you know, that's how long it takes sometimes to get to something after it's on the list. I've already crossed off numerous films this Movie Year that have been on the list for five times that or even longer. Three years is nothing, really. "Daybreakers" has probably been kicking around the list for a while, getting that one sorted was something of an accomplishment, look how many Ethan Hawke horror films I had to schedule just to cross THAT one off!
At first I thought this was going to be something of a "Bird Box"-like film, you know, the one with Sandra Bullock facing off against aliens or whatever that nobody could see - which itself was something of a knock-off of "A Quiet Place". But this one isn't like that at all, despite similarly having an A-list actress who hasn't done a lot of horror films. Then I thought maybe this is more like "The Rental" or "Barbarian", where people are forced to share space due to a mix-up with the rental agency or the AirBnB site and it leads to a bunch of mistrust and some other bad, nasty things. And this is SORT OF like that, only this is maybe more like "Knock at the Cabin" where people are vacationing peacefully when they're visited by strangers or strange things and they learn that maybe the apocalypse is taking place back in the cities.
Look, I don't know why Julia Roberts would take a role as a racist Karen, I really don't. She's actually pitched as someone who hates ALL people at first, except maybe her husband and kids, but that's not really a good look either, is it? She definitely has some mistrust for the people who show up unannounced and claim to be the owners of the house, is this BECAUSE they're black or is that just a coincidence? Sure, I get it, you rented the house and didn't expect the owners (or whoever) to drop by, but since there's kind of a big emergency of sorts going on in the world, I think maybe you have to make some allowances, just saying.
For the first half hour of the film (the first day at the rented vacation home) the only big problem is that the cable and internet are out. I mean, not working at all, no on-screen message from the cable company or the internet provider, no timeline for the service coming back, everything's just dead. I mean, you take a vacation so you can re-connect with your spouse and kids, right? And if everybody's on their phones and screens, that's counter-productive. So it's not really a big deal at first, let's get some groceries, drink some wine, play a couple board games and then tomorrow we'll make some inquiries about when the service will be restored. Ah, but that's not all, the GPS systems are out, there's no news available on the phone about whatever emergency is going on in the city, and if it's a blackout, sure, we get it, but you'd think at least you could turn on a battery-powered radio and get some kind of update, but nope.
The owner of the house, G.H. Scott, and his daughter are allowed to stay the night (in their own house) despite Amanda's protests. Scott offers to refund them half of their rental fee, which is a good deal as long as they get to stay there and sleep in the best bedrooms. Well, they are all settled in there, and this way nobody has to go find a hotel. The next day Clay will drive into town and get a newspaper or some kind of update on the situation, and Mr. Scott will visit his neighbors and check in on them. Yeah, this is a terrible idea because the GPS systems aren't working either, so Clay gets lost and G.H. learns that his neighbors' house has been destroyed by flood and impact damage caused by so many planes crashing into the beach. So pretty much any plane in the sky over the East Coast at the time of the blackout was unable to land safely. And if the GPS is out, that means the satellites were hacked or taken offline, so how far does this thing go?
The next few acts of the film are filled with a bunch of "WTF?" moments, somehow the event is messing with the migratory patterns of animals, so there are deer congregating HERE and a bunch of flamingos gathering over THERE, it's tough to say where they came from, because you don't usually see a bunch of flamingos on Long Island. Then a tremendous noise shrill noise is heard everywhere, hurting everyone's eardrums, and nobody can determine what's causing it or what effect it will have on them. Attempts to drive back to New York City are thwarted by a highway full of self-driving Teslas that have gone rogue and crashed into each other, filling up the Long Island Expressway. So it's really hard for the two families to determine if they'll be better off just staying indoors and not going anywhere, or if they should be taking some other actions to protect themselves.
NITPICK POINT: Once you go any real distance out on Long Island, it's impossible to see the NYC skyline. We're led to believe that these people drove out almost to the Hamptons but yet somehow can still see what's happening in Manhattan, and nope, that's just not possible. Like I live in Queens, NY and I can see the Manhattan skyline, technically I am ON Long Island, but what most people consider to be "Long Island" is further east, and the Hamptons are about 90 miles east, there's just no way they would be able to see the skyline of Manhattan.
The question remains, who had the resources to carry out this cyber-attack, if that's indeed what it was. The Iranians, the Koreans, the Soviets? Don't really expect any clear answers here, because the movie is not only way too long, it still finds a way to end before anything is solved or resolved. No spoilers here, but damn, what a waste of over two hours if there's no real resolution and we're left to wonder about the fates of the characters. I'm also going to go right into panic mode the next time my cable and internet are out, that's for sure. Bigger questions remain also, like who lives in that shed? Where did the deer all go? What was the Spanish woman saying? And should I be stocking up on canned food and bottled water?
Directed by Sam Esmail
Also starring Julia Roberts (last seen in "Love Again"), Mahershala Ali (last seen in "Jurassic World: Rebirth"), Myha'la (last seen in "Dumb Money"), Farrah Mackenzie (last seen in "Please Stand By"), Charlie Evans, Kevin Bacon (last seen in "Marty, Life Is Short"), Alexis Rae Forlenza (last seen in "The King of Staten Island"), Vanessa Aspillaga (last seen in "Morning Glory"), Josh Drennen (last seen in "Madame Web"), Erica Cho (last seen in "Nyad"), Orli Gottesman, Sam Esmail,
RATING: 5 out of 10 shelves of DVDs, which do not require the internet to be watched (YES! I'll be well prepared when this day comes!)
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