The Drop

Year 17, Day 21 - 1/21/25 - Movie #4,921

BEFORE: I'm still on track to finish January on time, I may double-up one night to get more films in, or I can drop one from the schedule, my choice.  We'll see how I feel next week as February 1 draws closer.  Tom Hardy carries over from "The Bikeriders". This is another film that was scheduled into the chain in 2023, but got dropped when my plans changed, or maybe I just ran out of slots and I had to get from "Night Falls on Manhattan" straight to my Thanksgiving movies. 

It's freaking cold in NYC, like the high is 19 degrees today - so naturally I had to go in to Manhattan early and deliver a box of receipts from my office to my boss's accountant, 12 blocks away.  Then I had to get down to my other job before 2 pm, but I still had time for a nice hot sit-down lunch at a Cuban restaurant in between.  It's important to eat a big lunch, it helps you stay warm, and then I'll be cashing in my Dunkin reward points today to get a free large coffee.  I'm working the Video Game Awards tonight, there's a party after so I'll probably be working until midnight, then I don't know how I'm going to fit in a movie tonight after that, but I'll try.  I don't want to fall behind again. 

THE PLOT: Bob Saginoski finds himself at the center of a robbery gone awry and entwined in an investigation that digs deeply into the neighborhood's past - where friends, families and foes all work together to make a living, no matter the cost. 

AFTER: This is based on short story from Dennis Lehane, who also wrote the books that became the movies "Mystic River", "Gone Baby Gone" and "Shutter Island".  He also wrote episodes of "The Wire" and "Boardwalk Empire", so yeah, I guess maybe the guy knows a thing or two about crime stories.  But this really is an average crime movie at best, perhaps elevated by Tom Hardy, who's great at playing tough guys, also I kind of get the feeling from him that he could play the guy on the corner begging for money just as easily.  This Bob Saginowski guy is kind of a combination of the two, like he's a mostly regular guy who's sometimes confused about life, but there's a lot more going on under the surface, he's capable of getting violent if he has to protect someone or something.  That duality here is probably the most interesting thing about the movie, when they hint that Bob might have killed somebody in the past, and so therefore if he's pushed too far, who knows what could happen?  

The gimmick here is that one bar is used as a weekly "drop" for NYC's criminals, and the location keeps changing, so the police can never track all this money. Is this a real thing? In Boston, maybe, but New York? It seems like mobsters would be taking a big chance, trusting all these bartenders and servers making minimum wage with handling thousands of dollars of their money. There's no ledger, no record-keeping, so it's just envelopes full of cash that get put into a secret safe under the bar, and then transported out days later in a hollow beer keg. I'm not saying that something like this doesn't happen, I'd just like to see the paperwork on the research, that's all. 

Bob runs the bar for Marv, who used to own the place, but apparently now the gangsters own the bar and have graciously let them keep their jobs as a cover.  Well, I guess that's job security, because the Chechen mob's not going anywhere anytime soon. Even if the bar's not turning a profit, I guess this way it's still going to stay open, again, I'm not saying this doesn't happen, it may explain that neighborhood bar you know that always seems to be empty?  

This got really confusing for me near the end, like I could follow it up to a certain point. I picked up on the fact that Marv hired the robbers to steal money from his own bar, but does that really make sense?  He knew that the Chechens would want that money back, one way or the other, so it should have been easy for him to figure out that his plan was NOT a good idea, because he'd eventually have to give that money back, or make up for it in some other way.  Would you spend all your money that you got on payday if you knew you needed it to pay your bills at the end of the month?  It's irresponsible of Marv to put his own life (and Bob's) on the line by robbing his own bar.  Why not rob one of the other bars that's used as The Drop next week?  Maybe Marv just wasn't thinking far enough ahead?  

Meanwhile, Bob becomes a dog owner, he finds a beat-up pit bull in a woman's garbage can, and he doesn't realize that the dog was left there as a message from her ex-boyfriend, who comes around to threaten Bob later. Gee, who could have imagined that leaving a hurt puppy in someone's trash doesn't make them want to get back together with you?  Really, what was his plan there?  The ex claims that the puppy has a chip in it (probably not) and he's got a license that shows he's the real owner of the dog (also, probably not) and he wants $10K for the paperwork or he'll tell the cops that Bob has his dog. 

Bob finds a bag outside the bar with most of the money in it, though there's also a body part in the bag and it's literally blood money now. Marv launders the money (again, literally) and Bob somehow knows a bit too much about how to improperly dispose of an arm, which involves a lot of plastic wrap and a trip to the pier.  They give the money back to the Chechens (which is also a bit weird, because they think the Chechens tracked down the money, then left it at the bar so they could get it back?  Why didn't they just KEEP it at that point?  Anyway they're square with the Chechens, so the mobsters say they want to use THIS bar again as a drop on Super Bowl weekend.  Umm, sure, again, not following the logic here, the bar got robbed the last time it was used as a drop, so sure, use it again on the busiest drinking and gambling weekend of the year?  

Marv lost his two robbery guys, so he hires a new recruit to try and rob the bar AGAIN on Super Bowl Weekend. Are you kidding me?  Marv only JUST got out of trouble after being threatened by the Chechens, plus he already KNOWS that if the bar gets robbed, that doesn't matter to them and he'll still owe them for whatever he gives to the robbers.  So, yeah, sure, if at first you don't succeed, just try the same dumb plan over again, I guess?  Maybe learn what didn't work, change the plan up, or wait a few months so the bosses don't put two and two together?  I'm just sayin'...Marv is really stupid, I suppose. 

I guess that makes Bob the smart one, or at least the last guy standing, which is essentially the same thing. Hey, he found a way to stay on the mobsters' good side, and also Nadia's ex-boyfriend is history, so there's a clear path to some form of happiness, maybe?  Good luck with all that. 

Also starring Noomi Rapace (last seen in "Child 44"), James Gandolfini (last seen in "Night Falls on Manhattan"), Matthias Shoenaerts (last seen in "Far from the Madding Crowd"), John Ortiz (last seen in "American Fiction"), Elizabeth Rodriguez (last seen in "Side Effects"), Michael Aronov (last seen in "Operation Finale"), Morgan Spector (last seen in "All Is Bright"), Michael Esper (last seen in "The Creator"), Ross Bickell (last seen in "The Fighter"), James Frecheville (last seen in "Animal Kingdom"), Tobias Segal (last seen in "John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum"), Patricia Squire (last seen in "The Many Saints of Newark"), Ann Dowd (last seen in "Rebecca"), Chris Sullivan (last seen in "The Normal Heart"), Scott Johnsen (ditto), Lucas Caleb Rooney (last seen in "Late Night"), Jeremy Bobb (last seen in "Under the Silver Lake"), James Colby (last seen in "The Company Men"), Mike Houston (last seen in "Joker: Folie à Deux"), Michael O'Hara (last seen in "The Wolf of Wall Street"), David Brown (last seen in "Summer of Sam"), Jessica Tate, John Di Benedetto (also last seen in "Night Falls on Manhattan"), Robert Turano (last seen in "The Goldfinch"), Erin Darke (last seen in "Kill Your Darlings"), Khan Baykal (last seen in "Duplicity"), Jack Dimich, Danny McCarthy (last seen in "The Amityville Horror" (2005)), Cathy Trien. 

RATING: 4 out of 10 Christmas decorations (still up on December 27!)

The Bikeriders

Year 17, Day 20 - 1/20/25 - Movie #4,920

BEFORE: It's another one of those confluences, like we had last year.  Remember when Valentine's Day was also Ash Wednesday and Easter was also Transgender Acceptance Day and the conservatives lost their damn minds?  That continued all through the year, in smaller ways, but you know, I guess every day is some day, like they have National Donut Day and National Hot Dog Day and there are obscure holidays from other countries all over the calendar.  It's not like we have 365 days in a year and the ability to spread these holidays out more...

Anyway, it's both Inauguration Day AND Martin Luther King Day, I'm afraid I don't have anything appropriate for the latter, I watched "Civil War" in honor of the first thing though.  Well, I think this film is set back in the 1960's, I guess that's sort of almost like a tribute to MLK. I'm in the right time-frame, maybe then I can be in the right frame of mind, too. Well, I always managed to not celebrate Black History Month with my movies, because I'm always deep in the romance chain, that overlap is not my fault BUT I do watch movies like "Rustin" and "Selma", just not in February, I've given myself a pass. 

Karl Glusman carries over again from "Civil War". 

THE PLOT: After a chance encounter, Kathy is drawn to Benny, member of the Midwestern motorcycle club the Vandals. As the club transforms into a dangerous underworld of violence, Benny must choose between Kathy and his loyalty to the club. 

AFTER: I don't have a lot to say tonight, because I don't have any experience with motorcycles, I was barely alive in the 1960's so I don't really grok the hippie movement or the Anti-Vietnam protest stuff, I was just way too young. This movie is really lucky to be part of the chain, because it doesn't seem like it's something I would choose to watch on my own, it was selected for this slot mainly due to its linking capacity - I can get to Tom Hardy, which gets me to "Furiosa", which gets me to "Dune: Part Two".  Hey, today's film ALSO links to the "Dune" sequel via Austin Butler, but if I go straight there from here I'm going to miss a couple Tom Hardy films, one of which has been dropped from the countdown several times, I'll handle that one tomorrow. 

But as for the stories of the members of a biker gang, as told to a writer via interviews, I'm sorry, but who the hell cares?  OK, maybe if you were an adult back then and you want to feel nostalgic for that time, great, knock yourself out, but I was just a baby and I (sort of) remember the moon landing on TV, but that doesn't really make sense because I was under a year old at the time, there's no way I should have that memory.  Most likely I've seen it depicted in so many movies and the story's been told by so many other people about watching that footage, it's probably a false memory in my mind. 

This is a story about Kathy Bauer, a woman who one day finds herself drinking in a club where the motorcycle gang the Vandals hangs out, and she's not attracted to any of them - except one, Benny. Sparks fly, he follows her home and when that stops being creepy, she marries him five weeks later. Say it with me - "What could POSSIBLY go wrong?"  Were there red flags?  Sure, but we'll deal with that sort of thing during the February romance chain. Can these two crazy kids make things work when she (eventually) wants a normal life and he gets tired of being the hothead guy who both starts fights AND finishes them?  Plus the gang is always going off on these hundred-mile road trips for days at a time and their parties are all just drinking, drag racing and fighting, not necessarily in that order.  To be fair, any frat parties during that time were probably just as wild - but even though I love a party just as much as the next guy, I just didn't enjoy the parties depicted here, and not just because they always seemed to end in violence. Hey, I prefer to go to beer festivals where there is just as much drinking, NO drag racing (I even get home by public transit) and fighting is NOT encouraged, it's 99% a happy atmosphere.  We even say, "If you can't make friends at a beer festival, there's something the F*CK wrong with you..."

The club goals are fairly pointless, just drink and cause mayhem - this is not really a civic organization designed to raise money for charity or register people to vote. So I think that spirit carries over to the movie, without a clear plotline, the movie ends up being just as pointless as the motorcycle club it depicts. Johnny is the club president, and what Johnny says goes, you might think of the other members kind of like the President's cabinet, if you will. But this is a President who makes up the rules as he goes along, is always looking for a fight or to badmouth someone, and really just wants to eat, drink and destroy things. (Hmm, does that sound like any other Presidents we know?). If anyone should disagree with the club president, they're free to challenge his leadership, but this is always settled with either fists or knives, and Johnny usually comes out on top.  

The club expands to have chapters throughout the Midwest, and they also hook up with biker gangs from other cities for drinking or fighting or, ideally, both. Problems arise when Benny wears his gang colors into a bar that doesn't allow that, and two bouncers or very large patrons beat him up, drag him outside and beat him up some more, he almost loses his foot as a result. Johnny brings the whole biker gang to that bar to learn the names of the offenders, and while some gang members track them down and break their legs, the others burn down the bar where it happened. Well, it's good to know they've got reasonable ways to deal with this sort of thing. 

Kathy wants Benny to quit the club, move to Florida and work as a mechanic, while Johnny wants Benny to stick around, he even offers him leadership of the club when he dies or decides to step down, but Benny's caught in the middle and can't seem to decide either way. Meanwhile a young kid called "The Kid" wants to join the group with his friends, but Johnny only offers him membership if he abandons his friends.  When The Kid does that, Johnny turns him down, because he doesn't want anyone in the club who would abandon their friends so quickly, so that was a test and The Kid failed.  Well, Johnny's got a point, if he'd bail on his friends wouldn't he be likely to bail on the other club members when they needed him? 

Six years later, the interviewer tracks down Kathy again, and gets an update on what happened with the gang, who's still around and who's still gone?  Yeah, it's not good for some members, they made bad decisions, or some had fatal accidents, some tried to leave the gang (a mistake) or worse, stuck around too long (another mistake). Geez, it's almost like being in a motorcycle gang is inherently a bad idea or something. You take all these burn-outs who didn't fit in anywhere else and put them together, so they kind of fit in for a while, but then they get on each other's nerves and before you know it, they're killing each other.  So at some point, Benny did leave for Florida, but you know, he's doing really well down there, he doesn't miss the biker gang life at all...

This film actually has festival cred, it opened up in Telluride in August, 2023, but then its theatrical release was delayed by that SAG-AFTRA strike, like what's the point of releasing a film if the cast is prevented from promoting it?  So it finally got distribution in November 2023, and a theatrical release in 2024. Honestly I don't really feel it was worth all that effort, it's a film that starts out OK but then really goes nowhere, it just kind of sits there and revs the engine a few times, but when it's time to roll, it stalls out, to continue the metaphor too long.  So it's not really my thing, but as I always say, your mileage may vary. 

Also starring Austin Butler (last seen in "Elvis"), Jodie Comer (last seen in "The Last Duel"), Tom Hardy (last seen in "Stuart: A Life Backwards"), Michael Shannon (last seen in "13"), Mike Faist (last seen in "West Side Story"), Boyd Holbrook (last seen in "In the Shadow of the Moon"), Damon Herriman (last seen in "Son of a Gun"), Beau Knapp (last heard in "The Guilty"), Emory Cohen (last seen in "All Is Bright"), Toby Wallace, Norman Reedus (last seen in "The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day"), Happy Anderson (last seen in "The New Mutants"), Paul Sparks (last seen in "Thoroughbreds"), Will Oldham (last seen in "Junebug"), Nathan Neorr (last seen in "The Old Man & The Gun"), Mierka Girten, Paul Dillon (last seen in "On the Road"), Valerie Jane Parker (last seen in "The Last Summer"), Tony Donno (last seen in "Arsenal"), Michael Endoso (last seen in "Stuber"), Rachel Lee Kolis, Phuong Kubacki (last seen in "We Have a Ghost"), Erin Scerbak (last seen in "An American Pickle"), Andrew Riley Stephens, Forba Shepherd (last seen in "Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile"), David Myers Gregory (last seen in "White Noise"), Michael Abbott Jr. (last seen in "The Death of Dick Long"), Maggie Cramer, Steve Marvel, Radek Lord (last seen in "Girlfriend's Day"), Anna Sheridan with archive footage of Marlon Brando (last seen in "Rock Hudson: All That Heaven Allowed"), Elizabeth Montgomery, Agnes Moorehead, Dick York. 

RATING: 5 out of 10 jean jackets with no sleeves

Civil War

Year 17, Day 19 - 1/19/25 - Movie #4,919

BEFORE: Karl Glusman carries over from "Reptile". And I'm back on track now, because this is where Jesse Plemons was supposed to carry over from "Killers of the Flower Moon", only I had to pull that film from the chain because no footage of Robert De Niro was used in "Joker: Folie à Deux". But I have to believe that the chain knows what it's doing, it has a mind of its own, you see, which is perhaps a partial reflection of my own mind. That hiccup pushed today's film one day closer to the Inauguration Day for our 47th President, who happens to be the same guy as our 45th President. Could we, and work with me here, possibly get some insight into our own dystopian future by watching this movie?  Fore-warned is fore-armed, right?  OK, so raise the barricades and batten down the hatches, impose a media blackout, because I'm going in...

No, for real, we're expecting snow here in NYC so we're going to need those barricades, I'm about ready to hunker down for a few days and not go anywhere, except on emergency grocery runs. I have taken steps to make sure I don't have another interruption of service caused by archive footage not being there when I need it, three films from now I'm really counting on a certain actor appearing in mid-credits archive footage, and so I took a peek at those credits, and yes, Thank God, yes, he's there. Now, the IMDB does not consider archive footage during closing credits as an official "appearance" (I learned that after "Deadpool & Wolverine"), but for my purposes, it should serve just fine. I think I may have to one day take over IMDB just like Elon Musk did with Twitter, just to get things listed the way I want them to be.  

THE PLOT: In a dystopian future, four journalists travel across the U.S. during a nation-wide conflict. While trying to survive, they aim to reach the White House to interview the president before he is overthrown. 

AFTER: Perhaps programming five dystopian future films in one month is a bit too much - I'm feeling burned out already, and I've only watched three of them. But we're at something of a unique moment in history right now, which is kind of like dancing on the edge of a cliff, and right now we just don't know which way this crazy thing called America is going to go. Trump said he would be like a "dictator on Day One", which is, umm, tomorrow so if that's the case, well, democracy had a good run, I guess. See you on the other side, I wish we could afford that four-year cruise around the world that gets you back just in time to vote in 2028 but it's just a BIT outside our price range. I guess I've got no choice but to join the resistance and become a freedom-fighter, can I do that remotely, without leaving home?  If you're reading these words it means they haven't shut me down yet, I'll continue broadcasting from the underground as long as I can. When I'm silenced, you'll know that the establishment has won but until then, STAY OFF the internet!  They're tracking you and they can hear everything we say, until now they've only used that power to send you Facebook ads based on your conversations, but very soon, those recorded conversations will be used to separate out the undesirables and take them away to internment camps.  

To be fair, they never name the President here, he's not Drumpf or Schmump or anything other than an allegory or amalgam, but he is played by Nick Offerman. I think that's great casting, like normally I'd approve of Nick Offerman as President, he seems like a solid guy, very funny, family man, a carpenter, outdoorsman, somebody you'd want to have a beer with who probably also built the table that you would rest that beer on. But he also plays pompous very well, and so he's a great choice for the unnamed President here who is somehow serving his third term, and dealing with the fact that California and Texas seceded from the Union and formed the Western Republic, and now they're rallying their forces for a coup, about to make the final push toward Washington DC, where the President is holed up in the White House, or maybe the barricaded Lincoln Memorial.  All of the reporters left in the free press (which isn't many) now need to make their way to the capitol to try to capture the photo of the century. 

Guys, this could happen. You-know-who does not surrender power easily, he wouldn't admit his loss in 2020, he still won't, and he wouldn't rest until he got back in power.  Now the gloves are off, and, OK, maybe I'm wrong, maybe he'll pardon himself on Day One for any and all crimes, and then just play golf and eat Big Macs for another four years. Right now that would be the BEST-case scenario, and OK, fine, bring on the Bird Flu pandemic (or COVID-24 or monkeypox, whichever) because I could use another round of unemployment checks, if I'm being honest. There are ALREADY people saying that Trump could qualify for a third term because he's both the 45th AND 47th President, and even though he's the same guy, he's entitled to two terms as Number 47. That's not how it works, an individual can only serve two terms, or ten years max (if they were a VP that ascended by the death of a President) but his supporters are already looking for that loophole. I present the case of Michael Bloomberg, who as mayor of NYC ran on a platform that established a two-term limit for mayors, including himself, and then all he did was change his affiliation from Republican to Independent to become eligible for a third term, which he GOT.  It's funny how the people who make the rules sometimes also feel those rules do not apply to themselves.  Bloomberg's excuse was that there was a financial crisis and only he could solve it, and Trump's famous for saying something similar - "I, alone can fix it." so it's not hard to see that there could be a justification in the future that bends those rules over backwards to produce the desired result.  

In this film, we really don't know what came first - the President's third term or the succession of the Western states. But we can see how one maybe led to the other, the President could have easily said that there's a war on, so a change in leadership would be very, very bad - George W. Bush pulled that one, and HE started the war!  OK, Cheney did, but you know what I mean.  If there were other issues that caused the Texas-California alliance, the film annoyingly doesn't mention what they are, but the idea of California secession has been around for a while, since their economy is actually larger than many countries in the world, California could probably make a go of things, without having to kick up to the Federal government. Right now Los Angelenos are all pointing out what percentage of their incomes they're paying in taxes only to not get the services they need while their houses are burning down. SO yeah, this could happen, I'm totally on board.  

But we're not here to talk about real-world politics today, because the film is really just a road-trip through the Forbidden Zone, much like "How It Ends" last year, only that trip was across the U.S. in another direction, for different reasons. The framework's the same, a few people with divergent backgrounds have to team up to drive across hostile territory while avoiding soldiers, well-armed local rebels and the overall collapse of society to reach another city on a deadline. Maybe not all of them are going to make it, but gosh darn it, they've got to try.  This time, we've got three veteran journalists and one newbie, who says she's 23 but she looks like she's 13. For the record, the actress was 25, so yeah, I'm wrong here but she still looks very young to me. Maybe everyone under 30 just looks like a teenager to my old-ass eyes. But her whole deal is that she's inexperienced and hasn't seen yet JUST how cruel people can be to each other, and we're all going to see that through her eyes.  

You'd be surprised (or, maybe not) what atrocities regular people are willing to commit because somebody else appears to not uphold the same belief system, and though here that's not based on race or religion or sexual orientation, it's still not a far leap to imagine people setting each other on fire or blowing each other up. We know that it happens, just look at the news. And we know there are paramilitary groups out there who are just as well armed as our armed forces, maybe even better, they just fly under the radar. I hope that I'm wrong about this, really, but it's possible this film director, Alex Garland, knows what he's talking about. He also wrote "28 Days Later", "Never Let Me Go" and "Sunshine", then directed "Ex Machina" and "Annihilation", so he's spent some serious time thinking about the future, if not time-traveling there. 

That being said, my wife woke up last night after a bad dream and came downstairs, she watched the first 10 minutes of "Civil War" and that was enough for her. The premise wasn't enough for her to stick with it, but I'm glad she got to see a bit of President Offerman NotTrump. And this morning (OK, afternoon) when I asked her if she wanted to know what happened, there was really no need. She took a guess as to how the movie was going to play out, then she nailed it in one - and she doesn't watch 300 movies a year like I do - so that's my evidence that this plot might be a little predictable. It sets up the ending in the very beginning, then it does what it said it was going to do, and like those reporters, we just HAVE to see it to believe it, but that doesn't mean we don't know it's coming. It's kind of like Seal Team Six going after Bin Laden, it can really only end one way. She also correctly guessed what would happen on that road trip, and who would end up taking THE picture on the (for some reason) antiquated film-based cameras that people are still using in the future. Look, I don't know if you heard, but photography is all digital now, there's simply no need to carry around developer and film stock. (Tell me you're a 55-year-old movie director without telling me...)

In those days after the election last November, as I was searching for any glimmer of hope, really, I would have taken anything at all, I got myself to a place where I thought, "Maybe, just maybe, this outcome averts a Civil War, that seemed to be where we were headed, and half the country is disappointed now and the other half got what they wanted, but will be disappointed later."  Sure, it's not much, but it kept me going for a little while. The future is a tricky thing - always in motion, the future is. We start finding out tomorrow about the impending apocalypse, just please, keep your minds clear because whatever you think about, that's the form that the Destructor is going to take, we learned that from "Ghostbusters". I made it through eight years of Reagan, I made it through eight years of Bush/Cheney, and god willing, I'll make it through another four years of Trump. But if he somehow gets a third term, I swear it, I'm joining the Resistance. OK, good talk, let's circle back to this in four years time and see where we are. 

Also starring Kirsten Dunst (last seen in "The Bling Ring"), Wagner Moura (last heard in "Puss in Boots: The Last Wish"), Nick Offerman (last seen in "Me and Earl and the Dying Girl"), Jefferson White, Nelson Lee (last seen in "Mulan" (2020)), Evan Lai, Cailee Spaeny (last seen in "How It Ends" (2021)), Stephen McKinley Henderson (last seen in "Beau Is Afraid"), Vince Pisani (last seen in "Jungle Cruise"), Greg Hill (last seen in "Operation Finale"), Edmund Donovan, Tim James, James Yaegashi (last seen in "Man on a Ledge"), Melissa Saint-Amand (last seen in "The Tomorrow War"), Jared Shaw (ditto), Jin Ha, Sonoya Mizuno (last seen in "Crazy Rich Asians"), Jojo T. Gibbs, Justin Garza, Brian Philpot, Tywaun Tornes, Juani Feliz (last seen in "The Purge: Election Year"), Justin James Boykin (last seen in "Black Panther: Wakanda Forever"), Jess Matney, Simeon Freeman, Alexa Mansour, Martha B. Knighton (last seen in "The Do-Over"), with a cameo from Jesse Plemons (last seen in "The Homesman"). 

RATING: 5 out of 10 bullet-ridden Christmas decorations (seriously, WTF?)