Madonna: Goddess of Pop

Year 18, Day 199 - 7/18/26 - Movie #5,379 - SQC DOC BLOCK FILM #18

BEFORE: Forgive the late posting yesterday, I had to go to WORK for the first time in over a week, both jobs have the summer slowdown thing going on, but you know, I worked a large amount in June and all that money has come in, so I should be OK, and things are going to pick up again next week. Then the Asian Film Festival is the week after that, so I should make some money there before this month ends and the cycle continues. Once I'm mid-way through August I can make some plans for September and beyond, it looks like I'll be going to North Carolina for a week during October, as usual, and then I'm flying down again for a few days at Thanksgiving to look after my Dad while my sister comes up to New York and works the Macy's Parade for the first time in a few years. Yeah I don't think I've ever traveled far during Thanksgiving week before, but I'm using SkyMiles and I picked early morning flights to try and minimize the damage - still, there just SO much that can go wrong. I hate to miss Thanksgiving in NYC with my wife, but this is a one-time request, inconveniencing only me, here's hoping. Anyway I don't THINK I have a Thanksgiving movie lined up, so I'll just finish whatever films fall into November before the trip and then wrap up the year and some Christmas movies when I get back. 

Sean Penn carries over from "Pamela: A Love Story" and I've been saving this state because I know it's where Madonna grew up - today's "Get to Know a State" profile is on MICHIGAN. I don't think I've ever been there, let's get that out of the way, and no immediate plans to go, so my record becomes 15 and 3.

Date admitted to the U.S.: January 26, 1837 (26th state)

Nickname: "The Wolverine State" or "The Great Lakes State". Whichever you prefer, I guess. 

Claim to fame: Detroit, so Motown I guess and all those great soul records. 

Prevalent language: Motown music

State Motto: "Si quaeris peninsulam amoenam circumspice" which is Latin for "Sugar pie, honey bunch"

State Flower: Apple blossom
State Fossil: Mastodon

State Fish: Brook Trout

State Duck: Wood duck

State Mammal: White-tailed deer

State Tree: Eastern white pine

State Beverage: Faygo sodas, and a cocktail called the Hummer (white rum, Kahlua and vanilla ice cream, yes please!)

Notable Sports Teams: Lions, Tigers and Red Wings (oh, my!) plus the Pistons in the NBA. That's it, each state should only get ONE team in each sport. 

Fun Fact: A large number of film directors and screenwriters seem to be from Michigan - like sure, I knew about Michael Moore, but now I just learned that Francis Ford Coppola, Jerry Bruckheimer, Roger Corman, Paul Feig, Mike Binder, John Hughes, Lawrence Kasdan, Neil LaBute, McG, Sam Raimi, Paul Schrader were all born there. And for actors there's Tim Allen, Byron Allen, Gillian Anderson, Kristen Bell, Elizabeth Berkley, Selma Blair, Jeff Daniels, Taylor Lautner, James Lipton, Loni Love, Ed McMahon, Gilda Radner, Tom Selleck, Dax Shepard and Lily Tomlin - a lot of Detroit people who made it to Hollywood. I had no idea - but they were all so willing to leave, does that tell us something? It's also the only state that's in two distinct pieces of territory (umm, right?), and the only state that borders four of the five Great Lakes. Also I know that Detroit pizza is rectangular and is baked in metal pans that were certainly never ever used for collecting the oil from cars. 

THE PLOT: This documentary gives you a real insight into the life and the career of one of the greatest figures in popular music. 

AFTER: Well, it seems I'm forced to watch another stock-umentary tonight, this one ran on the Fuse channel in those weeks just before I had to lock down my final chain, and it turned out that when I was trying to make 50 docs this year, I was still four or five short. Anyway, with the linking being the way it was, it was either add those last four I found, all of them, or don't add any at all, those were my choices. SO this year it's quantity over quality, at least at times. Look, I can tell from the choice of the "experts" they interviewed that this was made by the same production company that made "Elton John: Becoming Rocketman" and "ABBA: Super Troupe". These are the people they have on speed-dial. Well, at least they're interviewing somebody, and it's not 100% archive footage, but you know, it could have been, considering how little insight these "experts" bring to the table. One of them talks as if she's personal friends with Madonna, and I don't think anything could be further from the truth. 

We also don't really learn anything about Madonna that we didn't all already know. I don't think anyone watching is thinking, "WHAT? She was married to Sean Penn? How did that come to be?" We all had to live through that difficult time, man, it just wasn't pretty. Nobody could possibly have been shocked to find out Pamela Anderson was married to Tommy Lee, either, it's just things that everyone already knows. And those marriages didn't last, like, oh, what a shocker. You mean an actor and a pop star couldn't live together for more than three or four years without their egos getting in the way, or one of them cheating on the other. Again, nobody is a bit surprised. 

Madonna also took a stab at writing, in addition to acting and directing. Madonna developed a fake English accent after a couple years in London, married to Guy Ritchie. We've all seen this stuff on E.T. or Extra, if we've paid attention. Madonna made a coffee table book called "Sex" that was mostly nekkid pictures of her, posing as if she's making out with Vanilla Ice and/or Naomi Campbell. Well, sure, I knew this too however this might require additional research. You know, for science's sake. They mention boyfriends like Warren Beatty and Jean-Michel Basquiat, and girlfriends like Sandra Bernhard, but obviously they can't give us a complete list, because it's only an hour-long show. This was also made in 2012, so you know, her life list has probably doubled since then, she seems to be on a tear working her way through a line of young men right now. 

There's no real analysis of her songs, either, at least the ABBA doc got a bit into the hows and whys of certain songs, all they can do here is list a few - "Holiday", "Borderline", "Like a Virgin", "Papa Don't Preach" and "Like a Prayer" before they fast-forward up to "Ray of Light", in an attempt to prove that she's still got her finger on the pulse. And then "Give Me All Your Luvin", the single with M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj, the one that was being promoted around the time this doc was made. Oh, yeah, they did mention "Vogue", but where are "True Blue", "Crazy for You", "Into the Groove", "Dress You Up", "Live to Tell", "Open Your Heart" and "This Used to Be my Playground"? Also, she did a Bond theme song, "Die Another Day", isn't that worth a mention? 
I'm not even a Madonna fan, and I can tell they skipped a LOT here. 

You'd also think from this quickie doc that she only made a couple movies, they only talk about "Dick Tracy", "Evita" and "Shanghai Surprise", but she was in other productions - "Desperately Seeking Susan", "Who's That Girl", "A League of Their Own", "Body of Evidence" and "Four Rooms", that's not nothing. Yeah, they also mention "Truth or Dare" which was a doc she had made about herself, that's just a bit self-indulgent, but hey, at least she started talking about her fluid sexuality, that could have been inspirational for a lot of people out there. That and her kissing Britney AND Christina on stage during the MTV Video Music Awards in 2003 - which probably turned on a bunch of the men AND women who were watching. If there's a ripple effect in people coming out, that might have been the pebble dropped in the lake. 

Yeah, I get it, she's a controversial figure, but also one of the richest women in show business and one of the top-selling acts in the history of music, she's been around a long time, some might say too long, but she continues to shock people and make music, but come on, we know all this already. There's still no excuse to make a shoddy doc and not try hard to break new ground - but the goal here was just to fill up 90 minutes of programming, right? 

Directed by Maureen Goldthorpe

Also starring Ian Cohen, Paul Gambaccini (last seen in "ABBA: Super Troupe"), Lyndsey Parker, Ashley Pearson (last seen in "Elton John: Becoming Rocketman"), Jeff Weiss 

with archive footage of Madonna (last seen in "Lorne"), Christina Aguilera (last seen in "Killing John Lennon"), Antonio Banderas (last seen in "Paddington in Peru"), Jean-Michel Basquiat, Warren Beatty (last seen in "God Is the Bigger Elvis"), Sandra Bernhard (last seen in "Marty Supreme"), Naomi Campbell (last seen in "The Night We Never Met"), Christopher Ciccone, Dick Clark (last seen in "Devo"), Iggy Pop (ditto), David Fincher, Dan Gilroy, Big Daddy Kane, Carlos Leon, Lourdes Leon, M.I.A., Nicki Minaj (last heard in "The Angry Birds Movie 2"), Guy Ritchie, Britney Spears (last seen in "Child Star"), Justin Timberlake (ditto), Vanilla Ice (last seen in "Stan Lee"), Andy Warhol (also last seen in "Devo"), The Ramones (ditto), The Sex Pistols (ditto), The Temptations. 

RATING: 3 out of 10 Golden Raspberry Award Nominations

Pamela: A Love Story

Year 18, Day 198 - 7/17/26 - Movie #5,378 - SQC DOC BLOCK FILM #17

BEFORE: The connection might not be evident here, but Pamela Anderson and Lorne Michaels are both immigrants from Canada, America's non-annoying upstairs neighbor. This makes things tougher when I'm trying to match the doc subjects to U.S. states, but so far I'm managing. There's always a work-around, hopefully, or else I'll have to start assigning states randomly. Conan O'Brien carries over from "Lorne". 

We've got another birthday SHOUT-out today, because it happens to be the birthday of David Hasselhoff, who co-starred in "Baywatch" with Pamela Anderson. Hasselhoff was born on 7/17/52, so he somehow is turning 74 today. And together they suggest the topic for my next "Get to Know a State" segment, which is CALIFORNIA

Date admitted to the U.S.: September 9, 1850 (the 31st state)

Nickname: The Golden State

Claim to fame: Come on, really all of pop culture radiates out of there, Hollywood films and TV shows, though it no longer has a monopoly on that, still the bulk of American movies and TV shows are made there. Plus San Diego Comic-Con is still a thing, too.

Prevalent language: Californian, as seen on "SNL". And Spanish.

State Motto: "Eureka", meaning "I have found it!" Well, it's kind of hard to miss. 

State Flower: California poppy. Should be marijuana.
State Fruit: Avocado. That tracks.

State Fish: Golden Trout

State Bird: California quail

State Mammal: Grizzly bear (it's also on the flag.)

State Tree: Giant sequoia

State Beverage: Not sure, but a nice crisp summer lager like a Pacifico or a Corona would be fine right about not. 

Notable Sports Teams: Umm, all of them? I'm sure they have every sport covered, I know there's Rams, Chargers and 49ers in the NFL, the Lakers and Golden State Warriors in the NBA and Angels, Dodgers, Athletics. Giants and Padres in the MLB. FIVE baseball teams, isn't that a bit much?

But what about the college team with my favorite mascot of all time, the University of California, Santa Cruz Banana Slugs? Look, I don't know if they're great at football, or even if they play football, but their mascot selection game is 100% on POINT. I think if you watch "Pulp Fiction" you can see either John Travolta or Samuel L. Jackson wearing a UC Santa Cruz t-shirt near the end, after they wash off the blood from being in the car. That's a dope shirt. 

Fun Fact: California was once part of Mexico, but in 1846 groups of settlers tried to go rogue and form their own country, the Californian Republic. The U.S. Navy had to invade California and put a stop to that, and once the U.S. had military control of it, it seems like Mexico didn't want it any more and made a treaty in January 1947 to hand it over. And then gold got discovered at Sutter's Mill just one year later? The timing is REALLY suspicious on this.  But then we found out about all the earthquakes in California, but it was too late, Mexico already said "No takebacks".

Yes, I've been to California, but not Los Angeles. I spent years working booths at the San Diego Comic Con, let's say 2003 to 2017, or so. It was profitable for a long time, and then it wasn't. But if you figure I was there 5 or 6 days on each trip, then I've lived in California for three months, total, over the years. One year, 2012, I took a trip up to San Francisco after the convention, I had a connection at Lucasfilm who invited me to tour Skywalker Ranch "anytime", except when I did come up, George Lucas was about to make the formal announcement that he was retiring and selling "Star Wars" to DisneyCorp, so the whole place was on lockdown and I could not visit. C'est la vie, but I went and had a great day all over the city of San Francisco.

So now I've profiled 17 states and I've visited 15 of them. Still not a bad record. 

THE PLOT: Follows the life and career of pop culture icon Pam Anderson, including personal journals and archival footage. 

AFTER: You know, I did watch a couple movies with Pam Anderson in them back in January, I don't know why I didn't panic and watch this one then, too, like I did for "The Saint of Second Chances". I guess I had faith that I'd be able to circle back to this one during the Doc Block. Well this one has more star power to it, and a number of talk show hosts are seen interviewing her, so as I've found, with more talk show hosts, more linking opportunities are possible. 

I also saw her live, in person, outside the premiere of "The Naked Gun" just about a year ago, July 28, 2025, which took place at the theater where I work. Of course, I was much more impressed by the presence of Liam Neeson, because any opportunity to add another "Star Wars" actor to my life list, I'm going to take that. Even "Weird Al" Yankovic was there, but of course I've met him before, and I was not allowed to talk to the stars at this event, but I did e-mail Al some pictures later. Yes, I know his (manager's) e-mail address. The rumor at the time was that Ms. Anderson and Mr. Neeson were dating, but I have not heard this again since, so who knows? 

This film goes back to Anderson's teen years, when she was asked to model for a Canadian beer company and that led to a meeting with Playboy and a chance to come to Los Angeles and pose for naked photos, and then more naked photos, then some naked videos, and that led to a movie where she was frequently naked or in a bubble bath, and well, her career just took off from there. But she never uses the word "exploited", which suggests that she doesn't think that she was - honey, you must not have been paying attention. We've seen that record companies are like a meat grinder with young clueless bands, and that "SNL" is like a processing factory for up-and-coming comedians, but nothing can match the exploitative power of the modeling and nudie mag industry, which requires constant fueling from the young, beautiful girls who find their way to Hollywood and then are unable to leave. 

I'm not going to say Pam Anderson seems out of touch here, but it's like she's unable somehow to process how she got from Point A to Point B, like she's in a fog or she can't believe her luck that she got hired to be Playmate of the Month or got to star in a movie like "Barb Wire". Honestly, though, since she can't even tell us what that movie was ABOUT, yeah, I'm going to say she seems a little out of touch with reality. Like, how do you star in a movie and not be able to know what happens in the movie, you were THERE! When she's talking about being on "Baywatch", she refers to the skill she had for running in slow-motion, I can't even tell if she's joking because obviously she just ran at regular speed and they shot with a high-speed camera, which slows down the action. So she's either riffing on a joke that she doesn't get or she really thinks she ran down beaches super slowly. Umm, how does THAT save the lives of drowning people? 

She's also been married four times, once to rocker Tommy Lee, which everyone knows about, and once to Kid Rock, which everyone has forgotten about. There was a professional poker player after that and when this doc was made she was married to her bodyguard, but then it seems they grew apart after quarantining together during the pandemic. Well, that can happen. But I saw something on Instagram the other day about what people say when their friends get married for the second time, they say things like, "Everyone's allowed a mistake. Maybe keep it a little smaller this time though. And when a friend gets married for the fourth time, people say, "Maybe just hit the courthouse and send out an e-mail, you can't keep putting people through this emotionally and financially." And when a friend gets married for the fourth time, they say, "Respectfully...maybe marriage is not your thing." If a friend should get married for the fifth time, though, it's OK to say, "Honestly, now it's kind of inspiring. You've shown a level of optimism the rest of us can only dream of."

So Pamela Anderson is kind of displaying an optimism that most of us can only dream of, after so many marriages most people would be down on all relationships because it would seem that none of them, NONE OF THEM, work out. Well, over time, that would be true, none of them last forever, for one reason or another. Hey, it's not about how many times life knocks you down, it's about how many times you get up again. She has two sons with Tommy Lee, and they've been co-parenting them together for years, so why not just get back together? Certainly there must be a reason that's not stated outright here, or she just has bad memories of some kind of abuse. But this is another constant factor in her life, because she talks about being molested by a (female) babysitter when she was young, and then of course Playboy Inc. totally exploited her (even if she doesn't realize it) so you know, maybe moving back to Vancouver to be near her parents was the right move. (Her parents got remarried at some point, history of course doesn't repeat itself but it sometimes rhymes...)

Of course, she didn't stay in Vancouver, she took an opportunity to come to Broadway and rehearse to take over the Roxie role in "Chicago" for eight months, and she got pretty good reviews for that. We can assume that somehow led to the "Naked Gun" movie, but that must have happened after the documentary wrapped. So she's back on the scene, but we're just not sure for how long. I think maybe the healthiest thing to do would be to stop watching old tapes from past relationships, considering the history around her and Tommy and videotapes. But what do I know, I'm going through all my old photos and re-posting them on Instagram for Throwback Thursday and Flashback Friday...

Directed by Ryan White (director of "Good Night Oppy")

Also starring Pamela Anderson, Brandon Thomas Lee, Dylan Lee, Rob Bowman, Gregory Butler, Jeff Gorti, Dan Hayhurst

with archive footage of Julian Assange (last seen in "Get Me Roger Stone"), Scott Baio (last seen in "The Kid Stays in the Picture"), Joy Behar (last seen in "Barbara Walters: Tell Me Everything"), Michael Berk, Yasmine Bleeth, Dean Cain (last seen in "Out of Time"), David Charvet, Katie Couric (last seen in "Martha"), David Chokachi, Tony Curtis (last seen in "Being Eddie"), Fran Drescher (last seen in "Marty Supreme"), Kathie Lee Gifford (last seen in "Child Star"), Bob Guccione, David Hasselhoff (last seen in "Pee-Wee as Himself"), Hugh Hefner, David Hogan, Jimmy Kimmel (last seen in "Jaws @ 50: The Definitive Inside Story"), Larry King (last seen in "Big Miracle"), Matt Lauer (also carrying over from "Lorne"), Dennis Miller (ditto), Tommy Lee (last seen in "I Am Sam Kinison"), Jay Leno (also last seen in "Being Eddie"), David Letterman (ditto), Robin Quivers (ditto), Howard Stern (ditto), Ed Masry, Bret Michaels, Piers Morgan (last seen in "Outstanding: A Comedy Revolution"), Nick Offerman (last seen in "Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning"), Alexandra Paul, Sean Penn (last seen in "One Battle After Another"), Regis Philbin (last seen in "Valerie"), Kid Rock, Seth Rogen (last seen in "Flipside"), Rick Salomon, Kelly Slater, Sylvester Stallone (also last seen in "Barbara Walters: Tell Me Everything"), Jon Stewart (last seen in "Rather"), Mario Van Peebles (last seen in "Heartbreak Ridge"), Seth Warshafsky, Vivienne Westwood

RATING: 5 out of 10 inappropriate questions from talk-show hosts

Lorne

Year 18, Day 197 - 7/16/26 - Movie #5,377 - SQC DOC BLOCK FILM #16

BEFORE: I figured I might as well lean into the whole SNL thing this year once I saw how many docs there were, today's film is the latest one, which of course is on Peacock. So I programmed it knowing it had to fit in somewhere, and tried to ignore the fact that I would have to watch it on Peacock, which is very inconvenient. Nevertheless, it seems SNL has taken over, I've not got Bill Murray on top of the leaderboard and Dan Aykroyd is right behind him, I also usually track how many ex-SNL cast members are in each movie, and this one is a lock to win the category this year. Kenan Thompson and carries over from "Being Eddie" and presumably a lot of other people do, too. 

It's also Will Ferrell's birthday! I figured with a cast of hundreds here, thanks to archive footage, this was bound to land on somebody's birthday - so a SHOUT-out to Will Ferrell, born 7/16/67, the exact same day as my sister. So, OK, a birthday SHOUT-out to her, too.

I was going to profile South Carolina today, because Lorne Michaels is from Canada, but Chris Rock carries over, too and he is from there - but then I learned that Lorne Michaels has a home on a farm in Maine, as he should, it's a great place to get away from NYC when you need to get away from NYC. So that sure makes the choice easier, I really didn't know how I was going to tie into Maine, which is another state that I have been to - so now I've been to 14 out of 16. 

Date admitted to the U.S.: March 15, 1820 (23rd state)

Nickname: The Pine Tree State, well you work with what you have, I guess.

Claim to fame: All those Stephen King stories really happened there, all of them, so I'd stay clear of the whole state if I were you. 

Prevalent language: Aah-yup

State Motto: "Dirigo", which is Latin for "I lead" or "I direct". Sure, if that makes you feel better about yourself. 

State Flower: White pine cone and tassel - I don't think that's a flower.
State Fruit: Wild blueberry. That tracks.

State Fish: Landlocked Atlantic salmon. Not sure that's a thing either. 

State Crustacean: Gotta be "Lob-stah"

State Bird: Black-capped chickadee

State Mammal: Moose. I saw a giant one made out of chocolate there once. 

State Tree: White pine, as stated. 

State Beverage: Moxie, and I am not making that up.

Notable Sports Teams: Absolutely zero.

Fun Fact: Maine used to be part of Massachusetts, which probably was really funky on the map. OK, Here's where Massachusetts ends, and then there's Vermont, there's New Hampshire, and WTF? Massachusetts AGAIN? How the heck did that even work? Back in the day it's believed that Vikings landed there, then the French, who called it Acadia, but the area also included bits of Nova Scotia and New Brunswick. At some point the Acadians got kicked out and moved down to Louisiana and their identity name morphed from Acadians to Cajuns. They no longer had access to lobsters but they learned to eat crawfish, the things you learn on the Food Network, am I right? 

I went there several times as a kid, my parents had friends in Augusta, and then as a teenager we sometimes went to the beach in Kennebunkport. As an adult I've been back twice, once to Bar Harbor and once to Boothbay Harbor, that's when I saw that giant chocolate moose, one of the best visual puns ever. It might still be there, who knows? 

THE PLOT: Lorne Michaels, creator of "Saturday Night Live", offers unprecedented access to his life and process, as the man who built and sustained the institution for nearly five decades. 

AFTER: There could be somebody out there who was working on a documentary about Lorne Greene, iconic TV star of the old shows "Bonanza" and the original "Battlestar: Galactica", and that person is very upset that this documentary was finished first and took the one-word title. 

But I think this film should be required viewing for anyone in film school (which I think usually places too much emphasis on directing, like there ARE other jobs in filmmaking) or really, anyone who wonders, "What does a producer DO?". Well, a good one does a little bit of everything, they watch the budget, they hire the talent, they sometimes need to corral the talent, they handle the paperwork, they make sure everything is getting done on time, and done legally, and on top of that, they need to be friendly and communicative and smart and able to motivate everyone else to, you know, do their jobs. Lorne Michaels is a very talented, very experienced mega-producer, he's like the top of the pyramid, top of the food chain, he can hire and fire and no longer needs to take instructions from the network, because he's been running "SNL" for so long that he's seen dozens, maybe hundreds of network executives come and go, and he's STILL THERE. NBC decided at some point to leave him alone, for the most part, because it's the best way to get the show done on a weekly basis. 

Four former SNL stars get together and do the math, just based on his 45 seasons running the show, how many episodes per season, and then how many sketches get pitched during the weekly writing sessions, and it's a staggering number. This guy has approved thousands of skits and then turned down probably five or ten times THAT number, and then clear the board, we've got to do another show NEXT week, so let's hear some new pitches. It's incredible, I worked for an animation studio for 31 years, and by the end of that period I was looking for a way off that crazy merry-go-round. If you told me I still had to do 14 or 15 more years I think I would have jumped on the subway tracks. Especially all the fund-raising to keep the studio out of debt so I could continue to get paid - working on SNL which gets income from commercials seems like a dream by comparison. But they're also a much larger machine, and it's kind of the same thing we've seen in docs about rock bands, just for TV comedy. Pitch the sketches, pick the sketches, meet the celebrity host, get the costumes ready, build the sets for this week, have a dress rehearsal, have a meeting, fix the show, do the show, have maybe one day off, and then start the whole process again. It's no wonder they take the summer off, but then all those comedy stars probably book movies in the summer, or tour comedy clubs, so really, there's no vacation except for a couple weeks at Christmas and a skip week here and there during the season. You might start to see why the first SNL cast was doing so much blow, it was for the energy boost.

(There's a point in this doc where Lorne Michaels notices during dress rehearsal that host Ryan Gosling has a sore throat, so they frantically try to get a doctor to check him out. Lorne notes that in the old days, they had a doctor on set, but that was probably just for Belushi. You can't be too careful.)

Does a producer also take his cast and host out on Tuesday nights for a nice Italian dinner? Yes, that is something else that a good producer would do. Does a producer also have a very nice second home on a lake in Maine, with a blueberry patch and a barn with goats? Yes, that is something else that a good producer has, but he no doubt earned that. Does a producer have a guy that services his office fish tank, keeping it stocked and clean and making sure the fish are fed? I think you can guess the answer. 

The point of the documentary is to get to KNOW the subject, and at the start of production Lorne Michaels was very skeptical - this is a man who has tried very hard over the years to remain anonymous and unknown, which is difficult if he's sometimes on TV or in the news, or in charge of a cast of 12 rising stars and a staff of hundreds. So he can't be unknown, but neither can he be fully known, it's a paradox. I think we learn here what we need to learn, like where did he come from, what does he do for a living, and where does he go to be by himself, and as for the rest, well thankfully there are enough comedians with stories and anecdotes so we can fill in all the gaps. There are two characters in film and TV that are allegedly based on him - one is Jack Donaghy from "30 Rock", played by Alec Baldwin, he's a network executive in charge of a struggling comedy show, so I think we can all see the connection there. The other one is Dr. Evil from the "Austin Powers" movies, Mike Myers based that character's accent and attitude on his longtime SNL producer, Lorne Michaels, and sure, I can see it. A good producer might need to be 50% Jack Donaghy and 50% Dr. Evil, at least in terms of someone who wields great power, is not afraid to use it,  and convinced that doing so will eventually allow him to take over the world, or at least retire comfortably. 

Lorne is 82, by the way - and while I'm identifying people with "Artist Brain" we have to at least consider him for the list. People with severe Artist Brain tend to not retire, because they're convinced that absolutely nobody else could do the job they have, at least not as well as they can do it. In Lorne's case, he might be 100% right, but also, at some point you need to access your physical and mental abilities and think about training a successor. If you enjoy being on the farm in Maine, there are worse endings than going up there and just not coming back. But Lorne is also a New Yorker (born in Canada, but come on, he's a New Yorker now) and it can be very tough to get people who have lived in NYC for so long to leave. He goes to the same Italian restaurant every Tuesday night, for chrissakes, and that maitre d' would take a BULLET for him. So what if he only eats three dishes there? I suspect that once this documentary is seen by a lot of people, that restaurant is going to have to close to the public on Tuesday nights and ONLY serve the SNL cast and crew, if they don't already. Maybe there's a private room in back. 

Producers also host meetings - but not too early, especially if they work on a late-night show. Lorne Michaels seems to start his day around 4:30 pm, and I have to respect that. Hey, don't mess with the process if it works. He's also got to play boss, adviser and father figure to a motley, constantly changing crew of needy and messed-up comedians, so again, mad props. I remember the old slogan from Frank Perdue, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken." and I think that's somehow applicable here. It takes an extremely calm man to be in charge of the asylum, or maybe he's the craziest one of them all in the end. If only he could somehow become known... oh, yeah, right, that's why we're here. 

Quite accidentally, the documentary filmmaker speaking with Lorne while on his Maine farm stumbles upon something quite beauitful - there's a garden of daffodils in it, and it's a wonderful metaphor, Lorne is the gardener who planted the daffodils (or he hired someone to do it, more than likely) and he's tended them over time, they come back every year, and he gets to watch them grow over time. He's hired all the comedians and planted them like seeds in the cast, then he gets to watch them grow if he keeps them protected. It's fine, but I think I like his office fish tank as a better analogy - you choose the fish, you put them in the tank with the other fish, hopefully they don't fight each other too much. You want to feed and nurture them (and their egos) but not too much. And if a fish dies or goes missing, well you just have to restock the tank then, don't you? Sure you want those fish to have a great life, while they're in your tank - but you also have to hope they don't get bored just swimming around the same tank, week after week. Yeah, that sounds a little closer to reality.

Directed by Morgan Neville (director of "The Saint of Second Chances" and "Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain")

Also starring Lorne Michaels, Michael Che, Mikey Day, Steve Martin, Laraine Newman, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler (all 7 carrying over from "Being Eddie"), John Alexander, Fred Armisen (last seen in "Spin Me Round"), Ego Nwodim (ditto), Alec Baldwin (last seen in "Framing John DeLorean"), Candice Bergen (last seen in "Sweet Home Alabama"), Dana Carvey (last seen in "Adam Sandler: Funny Guy"), Conan O'Brien (ditto), Timothee Chalamet (last seen in "Marty Supreme"), Chevy Chase (last seen in "Jaws @ 50: The Definitive Inside Story"), Andrew Dismukes, James Downey, Erin Doyle, Ayo Edibiri (last seen in "Omni Loop"), Jimmy Fallon (last seen in "Rather"), Tina Fey (last seen in "Mean Girls" (2024)), Chloe Fineman (last seen in "Freakier Friday"), Al Franken (last seen in "Love, Gilda"), Heidi Gardner (last heard in "Leo"), David Geffen (last seen in "LennoNYC"), Shane Gillis, Jake Gyllenhaal (last seen in "Ambulance"), Bill Hader (last seen in "Yacht Rock: A Dockumentary"), Marcello Hernandez (last seen in "Happy Gilmore 2"), Steve Higgins, James Austin Johnson (last seen in "A Complete Unknown"), Colin Jost (last heard in "The Bad Guys 2"), Erik Kenward, Ed Kostner, Larry Liberstein, Michael Longfellow, Caroline Maroney, Bruce McCulloch (last seen in "Outstanding: A Comedy Revolution"), Mark McKinney (ditto), Martin Short (ditto), Kate McKinnon (last heard in "A Minecraft Movie"), Seth Meyers (last seen in "Martha"), James Andrew Miller, Susan Morrison, John Mulaney (last heard in "Puss in Boots: The Last Wish"), Mike Myers (last seen in "Earth, Wind & Fire"), Chris Parnell (last seen in "Ira & Abby"), Paula Pell (last heard in "Inside Out 2"), Maya Rudolph (last seen in "Will & Harper"), Andy Samberg (last seen in "Lee"), Tom Schiller, Streeter Seidell, Sarah Sherman (last heard in "Nimona"), Howard Shore, Rosie Shuster, Paul Simon (last seen in "Roberta"), Emma Stone (last seen in "Eddington"), Lily Tomlin (last seen in Dear Ms.: A Revolution in Print"), Betzy Torres, Devon Walker, Kristen Wiig (last seen in "Liza: A Truly Terrific Absolutely True Story"), Bowen Yang (last seen in "Wicked: For Good"), Akira Yoshimura, Alan Zweibel,

with archive footage of Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, George Carlin, Johnny Carson, Dave Chappelle, Jane Curtin, Andy Kaufman, Paul McCartney, Tracy Morgan, Garrett Morris, Bill Murray, Gilda Radner, David Spade, (all 13 carrying over from "Being Eddie"), Laurie Anderson, Matthew Broderick (last seen in "Brats"), Aidy Bryant (last seen in "I Feel Pretty"), Ruth Buzzi, John Candy (last seen in "Draft Day"), Andrew Dice Clay (also last seen in "Outstanding: A Comedy Revolution"), Madonna (ditto), Ellen Cleghorne (last seen in "Adam Sandler: Funny Guy"), Chris Farley (ditto), Phil Hartman (ditto), Chris Kattan (ditto), Jon Lovitz (ditto), Dennis Miller (ditto), Kevin Nealon (ditto), Rob Schneider (ditto), Julia Sweeney (ditto), Joan Cusack (last seen in "Pee-Wee as Himself"), Anthony Michael Hall (ditto), Jan Hooks (ditto), Victoria Jackson (ditto), Denny Dillon (last seen in "Paint"), Robert Downey Jr. (last seen in "The Fantastic Four: First Steps"), Rachel Dratch (also last seen in "Will & Harper"), Will Forte (ditto), Darrell Hammond (ditto), Nora Dunn (last seen in "Chris & Martina: The Final Set"), Chris Elliott (last seen in "Sandy Wexler"), Will Ferrell (last seen in "You're Cordially Invited"), Dave Foley (last seen in "Second Act"), Jeff Goldblum (also last seen in "Wicked: For Good"), Ryan Gosling (last seen in "Child Star"), Elliott Gould (also last seen in "Jaws @ 50: The Definitive Inside Story"), Tom Green (last seen in "Superstar"), Buck Henry (last seen in "Becoming Mike Nichols"), Martin Herlihy (last seen in "Please Don't Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain"), John Higgins (ditto), Ben Marshall (ditto), Paris Hilton (last seen in "The Bling Ring"), Arte Johnson (last seen in "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind"), Punkie Johnson (last seen in "Bottoms"), Leslie Jones (last seen in "A Guy Thing"), Jane Krakowski (last heard in "The Willoughbys"), Matt Lauer (last seen in "Paul Anka: His Way"), Rob Lowe (last seen in "Monster Trucks"), Norm MacDonald (last seen in "Jack and Jill"), Billy Martin (last seen in "Yogi Berra: It Ain't Over"), Penny Marshall (last seen in "Albert Brooks: Defending My Life"), Dick Martin, Tim Meadows (last seen in "Dream Scenario"), Jay Mohr (last seen in "I Am Chris Farley"), Elon Musk (last seen in "Men in Black: International"), Bob Newhart (last seen in "Bathtubs Over Broadway"), Sinead O'Connor (last seen in "Nothing Compares"), Michael O'Donoghue, Catherine O'Hara (last heard in "The Wild Robot"), Cheri Oteri (last seen in "Barbara Walters: Tell Me Everything"), Don Ohlmeyer, Don Pardo, Anthony Perkins, Amy Poehler (last seen in "Dear Mr. Watterson"), Hart Pomerantz, Randy Quaid (last seen in "An Accidental Studio"), Rob Reiner (also last seen in Dear Ms.: A Revolution in Print"), Tim Robbins (last seen in "Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story"), Dan Rowan, Molly Shannon (also last seen in "Spin Me Round"), Charlie Sheen (last seen in "I Am Sam Kinison"), Tom Snyder (last seen in "Beatles '64"), Jason Sudeikis (last seen in "The Book of Love"), Patrick Swayze (last seen in "Brats"), Terry Sweeney, Lee Tergesen, John Tesh, Dave Thomas, Donald Trump (last seen in "Mile 22"), Danitra Vance, George Wendt, Frank Zappa

RATING: 6 out of 10 sketches about the Five-Timers Club

Being Eddie

Year 18, Day 196 - 7/15/26 - Movie #5,376 - SQC DOC BLOCK FILM #15

BEFORE: All right, two weeks in and making progress - I'm back to "SNL" as a nexus point, specifically the point at which they'd sacked all the original Not Ready for Prime Time Players and hired an all-new cast. Eddie Murphy was NOT in that first doomed case of replacement comedians, but we was hired at a time when everyone seemed to HATE the people who were not Aykroyd, Belushi, Curtin, etc. and the show desperately needed help. (Come on, does anyone out there remember Ann Risley, Gail Matthius and Matthew Laurance?). Eddie really joined the third cast line-up, though in his mind he recalls it being the second. 

Kenan Thompson carries over from "Child Star" and we have another Birthday SHOUT-out today to Shari Headley, who was in both "Coming to America" films, born 7/15/64 in Queens, NY.

I had some real trouble picking a U.S. state to profile tonight, because Eddie was born in NYC, and I profiled New York back at the start. Obviously he lives in California, and the whole "Beverly Hills Cop" thing suggests that too, but I'm saving that state for a reason, and his character came from Detroit, but I'm saving Michigan, too. So I'm going to go back to MY history, because I was working for a company founded by WIll Vinton that was animating Eddie's show "The PJ's" and I had the opportunity to visit Portland, Oregon for a couple of conferences and I was allowed to visit the warehouse where all the sets for "The PJ's" were laid out and also stored. So based on that, the state I'm choosing today is OREGON, and since it's another state I've been too, my record stays high, with 13 states out of 15. 

Date admitted to the U.S.: February 14, 1859 (the 33rd state)

Nickname: The Beaver State. Take that any way you want. 

Claim to fame: From my perspective, animation and cartooning. Just like Seattle's rainy climate forced kids to stay indoors and play guitar, Portland's climate bred cartoonists in a similar fashion. Matt Groening, Bill Plympton, Will Vinton, Brad Bird, Alex Ross, John Callahan, Carl Barks, Robert Crumb, Joan Gratz, Mike Richardson from Dark Horse Comics, Basil Wolverton, Travis Knight, and many others.

Prevalent language: Native American, at least all the town and river names. 

State Motto: Alis volat propriis "She flies with her own wings"

State Flower: Oregon grape
State Fruit: it's gotta be pears, Harry & David sure sells a lot of them

State Fish: Chinook salmon

State Crustacean: Dungeness crab

State Bird: Western meadowlark

State Mammal: American beaver

State Tree: Douglas Fir

State Beverage: Craft beer, or at least it should be

Notable Sports Teams: Portland Trail Blazers and Portland Timbers (soccer). That's it unless you follow the University of Oregon Ducks or the OSU Beavers. 

Fun Fact: Nobody can say for sure where the state name came from, whether it comes from "oregano" or it it's Spanish for "One with big ears" or the French word for "hurricane". There's much debate over the proper way to pronounce it as well. Many people traveled the famous Oregon Trail through Nebraska and Wyoming to help settle the state, and any video-game player can tell you most of those people died from dysentery. Oregon was the first state to have a Bottle Bill to promote recycling and the first state to legalize physician-assisted suicide. Make of that what you will. The population is 97% white, 1.3% African-American and 35% cartoonists.

THE PLOT: A comprehensive look at Eddie Murphy's life and career. 

AFTER: Look, I would never suggest that Eddie Murphy doesn't deserve a documentary made about him, he has the box office track record to justify it. But so does Adam Sandler, and that doc about him a few days ago was a real piece of garbage. So I need to know if somebody, somewhere is in charge of determining who gets a doc and who doesn't, because Belushi got one, Chris Farley got one, Gilda got one a few years back, but we can't risk having one made about, say, Rob Schneider, I don't think I could survive it. Where's Jane Curtin's bio-doc? One about Mike Myers? Where, exactly, is the cut-off? Molly Shannon? Darrell Hammond? Tim Meadows? 

I've got a few more coming up in THIS block about SNL people, I mean, of course, Chevy Chase. Lorne Michaels, too, I just want to know where it all ends. Does Bowen Yang warrant one someday, and does he have to be willing to participate? Bill Murray probably doesn't want one, considering that two docs about him were made without him being interviewed for them or appearing in them. I'd support one about Tina Fey, but she's probably too grounded to think it's a good idea. I don't know. 

A good portion of this doc on Eddie Murphy is taken up by footage made by bringing a steadicam through his California house. It's a pretty big house, so that takes time - but the message is kind of clear, I've done well, I made money, I bought a nice house. They try to temper this by having him mention that the house was kind of lonely after his divorce, but that only makes it a humble-brag. "Oh, I got tired of renting houses while coming out to California to make movies, so I had to buy one." Tell me you're rich without telling me you're rich. There are some other sneaky methods of storytelling here, I spotted them, but see if you can too. 

The doc mentions Eddie's music career, and they drop in footage of him watching Jimi Hendrix, to start, and then later he's lumped in with Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson and Prince, it's to point out that all of those other musicians have passed away, and Eddie is still here because he never messed around with drugs. OK, great, congratulations on being sober, but this manages to create a kind of false equivalency, as if those four people should be regarded as similar talents, and, well, I'd like to see the paperwork on that. Prince was a musical genius, now they're saying he was one of the BEST guitar players of all time, and a lot of people still hold Michael Jackson and Whitney in very high regard, while Eddie Murphy had a hit single called "Party All the Time", produced by Rick James (who's also dead and gone) and managed to cover the Beatles song "Good Day Sunshine". Nope, not on Prince's level, not even close. 

They pull this trick again when Eddie talks about moving to Hollywood after he hit big with "48 Hrs." and "Trading Places", he managed to meet famous actors like Marlon Brando, Charlton Heston, and other personal heroes. According to Eddie, all of the old-school Hollywood stars were calling him to have lunch, and a montage passes by with Kirk Douglas, Fred Astaire, Gregory Peck, Rock Hudson, Jimmy Stewart and others. The message, once again is clear, Eddie Murphy is somehow the modern equivalent of those stars from the past, his films probably made much more money than theirs did, but again it's kind of a false equivalency created here, does this mean Eddie Murphy is as great an actor as, say, Henry Fonda? Again, I'd like someone to show their work here. I think it's more likely that there was a network of older Hollywood actors who frequently had their people call up the younger, richer stars to not only meet them, but come on, they're senior citizens, some of them were looking for a free lunch, probably at Kanter's. Just keepin' it real. 

"Beverly Hills Cop", sure, great film. The sequels, not so much. "Trading Places", "48 Hrs.", "Coming to America", even "Bowfinger", those are great films. "The Nutty Professor", "Norbit", "Meet Dave" and "The Adventures of Pluto Nash", not so much. Then there's this weird middle ground with "The Golden Child", "Boomerang" and "Daddy Day Care", right? Like they're not terrible, but they're not great, either. And there's long been suspicion that Eddie ruined his chances of getting an Oscar for "Dreamgirls" by releasing the stinker "Norbit" at exactly the wrong time. Who's to say? (Animation is kind of its own thing, because of course he was great in the "Shrek" films and "Mulan", that kind of goes without saying.)

Of course, Murphy had a decades-long feud with the show that made him a household name, SNL, after young replacement cast member David Spade joked during Weekend Update about one of Eddie's horrible movies, saying, "Look, kids, a falling star!" so Eddie didn't come back to the show to host or even guest for about 35 years, umm, yeah that seems about right. Don't go where they don't want you, although there was never really an agreement that SNL would continue to look after their own, even if they made terrible films. They're in the business of promotion, after all, they should just present the bands and the celebrity guests and let the audience decide what's good. Why not put some of that energy into creating punchlines for your sketches, SNL? 50 years of comedy and I'm still waiting for one. 

He did come back for the 40th Anniversary show, provided there was a tribute to him (that doesn't sound like someone was over it) and then hosted the Christmas show in 2019, he just happened to also have a movie to promote, "Dolemite Is My Name", the last film before just sticking with sequels to "Coming to America" and "Beverly Hills Cop" and yes, there's going to be a fifth "Shrek" film and a fifth "Beverly Hills Cop" because the machine needs fuel if it's going to keep moving forward. Notice that the documentary doesn't say much about Eddie's former wife or the fact that he fathered a child with one of the Spice Girls and refused to acknowledge it. Yes, it's good to have final cut approval on the doc about you...

He's 65 and yet somehow he's also the kid who never grew up, he wanted so badly to perform with ventriloquist versions of Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor, using his impressionist skills to think up fanciful conversations to have with those comedy legends, even though one is dead and the other's in jail and that all seems like it could be in very poor taste. But the documentary filmmakers pulled some strings, so to speak, and those puppets show up before the filming of the documentary was done, so the film ends with Eddie Murphy happier than anyone remembers seeing him, playing with those puppets and doing their voices, imagining what Cosby and Pryor might say. I'm umm, not finding that to be funny at all. 

Look, I'm glad he made peace with Lorne Michaels and showed up for SNL's 50th Anniversary show, even if that show aired 12 months too early. The first episode of SNL aired in October of 1975, so sure, the special aired 50 years later, but at the start of the 50th SEASON, and there's a difference. Sesame Street pulled the same B.S. for its anniversary, if you're doing TV seasons, you really need to wait until you've COMPLETED 50 seasons before you celebrate - on your birthday the number count goes up by one, sure, but you haven't lived fifty years just yet, you've technically lived 49 years plus one day, not the same thing. Anniversaries come at the END of the year, I'll die on that hill. Anyway the 50th Anniversary special aired in February 2025, so really it was 6 months too early or 18 months too early, depending on how you count. 

Directed by Angus Wall

Also starring Eddie Murphy (also carrying over from "Child Star"), Arsenio Hall (ditto), Barry W. Blaustein, Jerry Bruckheimer, Paige Butcher, Ruth E. Carter, Dave Chappelle (last seen in "Kevin Hart & Chris Rock: Headliners Only"), Michael Che (last seen in "Top Five"), Pete Davidson (last seen in "Riff Raff"), John Davis, Jamie Foxx (last seen in "Back in Action"), Brian Grazer, Kevin Hart (last seen in "Borderlands"), Reginald Hudlin (last seen in "Boomerang"), Jeffrey Katzenberg, John Landis (last heard in "Belushi"), Elvis Mitchell, Tracy Morgan (last seen in "Barbara Walters: Tell Me Everything"), Charlie Murphy (last seen in "Paper Soldiers"), Chris Rock (last seen in "Adam Sandler: Funny Guy"), Adam Sandler (ditto), Tracee Ellis Ross (last seen in "Daddy's Little Girls"), Jerry Seinfeld (last seen in "The 100th: Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden"), David Sheffield, Val Young, 

with archive footage of Muhammad Ali (last seen in "Chris & Martina: The Final Set"), Don Ameche (last seen in "F For Fake"), Alan Arkin (last seen in "Love the Coopers"), John Ashton (last seen in "Brats"), Liza Minnelli (ditto), Fred Astaire (last seen in "Liza: A Truly Terrific Absolutely True Story"), Cicely Tyson (ditto), Dan Aykroyd (last seen in "Devo"), John Belushi (ditto), Jane Curtin (ditto), Michael Jackson (ditto), John Lennon (ditto), David Letterman (ditto), Steve Martin (ditto), Lorne Michaels (ditto), Garrett Morris (ditto), Bill Murray (ditto), Laraine Newman (ditto), Gilda Radner (ditto), Ronald Reagan (ditto), Lauren Bacall (last seen in "Call Me Kate"), Rick Baker, Lucille Ball (also last seen in "Barbara Walters: Tell Me Everything"), Kirk Douglas (ditto), Robin Givens (ditto), Katharine Hepburn (ditto), Mike Tyson (ditto), Angela Bassett (last seen in "Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning"), Halle Berry (last seen in "The Union"), Marlon Brando (last seen in "Sigourney Weaver, the Most Iconic Action Heroine"), Mel Gibson (ditto), David Brinkley (last seen in "Yacht Rock: A Dockumentary"), Charles Bronson (last seen in "Sergio Leone: The Italian Who Invented America"), Henry Fonda (ditto), Lenny Bruce, Yul Brynner, George Carlin (last seen in "I Am Sam Kinison"), Rodney Dangerfield (ditto), Diahann Carroll (last seen in "A Disturbance in the Force"), Johnny Carson (last seen in "Paul Anka: His Way"), Sammy Davis Jr. (ditto), George Harrison (ditto), Paul McCartney (ditto), Elvis Presley (ditto), Ringo Starr (ditto), George Clinton (last seen in "Earth, Wind & Fire"), Whitney Houston (ditto), Rick James (ditto), Barack Obama (ditto), Prince (ditto), Stevie Wonder (ditto), Sean Connery (last seen in "The Duke"), Bill Cosby (also carrying over from "Child Star"), Robin Duke (ditto), Mary Gross (ditto), Tim Kazurinsky (ditto), Joe Piscopo (ditto), Mickey Rooney (ditto), James Stewart, (ditto), Terry Crews (also last seen in "Adam Sandler: Funny Guy"), Jay Leno (ditto), David Spade (ditto), Tony Curtis (last seen in "Nickel Boys"), Mikey Day (last seen in "Unfrosted"), Redd Foxx (last seen in "Gloria Gaynor: I Will Survive"), Morgan Freeman (last seen in "The Comeback Trail"), Danny Glover (last seen in "Monster Trucks"), Cuba Gooding Jr. (last seen in "Selma"), David Alan Grier (last seen in "Boomerang"), Martin Lawrence (ditto), Buddy Hackett, Shari Headley (last seen in "Coming 2 America"), Jimi Hendrix (last seen in "Travelin: Band: Creedence Clearwater at the Royal Albert Hall"), Charlton Heston (last seen in "Citizen Ashe"), Steve Higgins, Bob Hope (last seen in "My Mom Jayne"), Rock Hudson (last seen in "Rock Hudson: All That Heaven Allowed"), Ice Cube (last seen in "Luther: Never Too Much"), Iman (last seen in "Moonage Daydream"), Samuel L. Jackson (last seen in "Eve's Bayou"), Peter Jason (last seen in "They'll Love Me When I'm Dead"), Alejandro Jodorowsky (last seen in "Jodorowsky's Dune"), James Earl Jones (last heard in "Butterfly in the Sky"), Andy Kaufman (last seen in "Dear Ms.: A Revolution in Print"), Gene Kelly (last seen in "Sid & Judy"), Ed Koch (last seen in "Where's My Roy Cohn?"), Bruce Lee, Spike Lee (last seen in "Claydream"), Jack Lemmon (last seen in "Blake Edwards: A Love Story in 24 Frames"), Peter Sellers (ditto), Jerry Lewis (last seen in "Outstanding: A Comedy Revolution"), Lizzo, Sophia Loren, Shirley MacLaine (last seen in "Bob Fosse: It's Showtime!"), Howie Mandel (last seen in "Family Switch"), Paul Newman (last seen in "Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre"), Nick Nolte (last seen in "The Company You Keep"), Keke Palmer (last seen in "Good Fortune"), Bronson Pinchot (last seen in "Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F"), Sidney Poitier (last seen in "Nickel Boys"), Richard Pryor (last seen in "Jaws @ 50: The Definitive Inside Story"), Robin Quivers, Chris Redd (last seen in "Handsome: A Netflix Mystery Movie"), Della Reese (last heard in "Dinosaur"), Don Rickles, Al Roker (last seen in "Casa Bonita Mi Amor!"), Tony Rosato, Jeffrey Ross (last seen in "Martha"), Frank Sinatra (last seen in "Flipside"), Jada Pinkett Smith (last seen in "Bad Moms"), Howard Stern (last seen in "Pee-Wee as Himself"), Elizabeth Taylor (last seen in "Marvin Hamlisch: What He Did for Love"), Billie “Buckwheat” Thomas, Barbara Walters (also last seen in "Martha"), Denzel Washington (last seen in "The Great Debaters"), Gene Wilder (last seen in "Remembering Gene Wilder"), Robin Williams (last seen in "Music by John Williams"), 

RATING: 6 out of 10 music videos (that he obsessively tracks the views of on YouTube)

Child Star

Year 18, Day 195 - 7/14/26 - Movie #5,375 - SQC DOC BLOCK FILM #14

BEFORE: Day 6 in isolation - pfft, that's nothing compared to what we all went through during COVID, right? Look, I've got plenty to do, I'm doing an assault on my backed-up laundry, mostly t-shirts and when I finish that, I've got a few months of comic books to log in and organize. I cut WAY back on comics, like what I now buy in a month is about what I used to buy weekly, so at least there are fewer books coming in, and I had to really think about which books I enjoy reading, at the end of the day. I Kondo-ed my comic book buying habits. 

Drew Barrymore carries over from "Adam Sandler: Funny Guy", since she co-starred with Sandler in three movies - see, there is a method to my madness, though the opposite is also true. It was really tough to pick a state to profile today, but I landed on the birthplace of Raven-Symore, which is Atlanta, so today's "Get to Know a State" topic is GEORGIA. Demi Lovato is from New Mexico, but I'm saving that one for last, and most of the history discussed here took place in California, but I'm saving that one, too. 

Date admitted to the U.S.: January 2, 1788 (the 4th state)

Nickname: The Peach State

Claim to fame: Somehow this U.S. state is also a former Russian republic, I'm not quite sure how that is possible. 

Prevalent language: Southern BBQ, thank God for deep-fried ribs. 

State Motto: "Wisdom, Justice & Moderation". I'd like to see the paperwork on that, just sayin'.

State Flower: Cherokee Rose
State Fruit: Peach - well, it is "The Peach State"

State Fish: Largemouth bass

State Amphibian: American green tree frog - hey, for once it's not a turtle!

State Bird: Brown thrasher

State Tree: Southern live oak - you'd think it would be a peach tree, right? 

State Beverage: Coca-Cola, I'm pretty sure.

Notable Sports Teams: Atlanta Braves in the MLB, Atlanta Falcons in the NFL, Atlanta Hawks in the NBA. There's reportedly a soccer team too, but college sports are pretty big down there, like I think even Georgia Tech is known for having teams, which is saying something for a bunch of NERDS. 

Fun Fact: Speaking of sports, the 1996 Summer Olympics took place there, and Super Bowls in 1994 and 2000. The Masters golf tournament is pretty prominent, and then there's NASCAR stuff at Atlanta Motor Speedway. Seems like sports and BBQ are the two big things down there. 

Yes, I've been to Georgia, it was our third BBQ crawl, in 2022. We flew down to Atlanta and stayed there a few days before driving up to Charleston, SC and Raleigh, NC where my sister lives. I think we had BBQ twice in Atlanta, once at Fox Bros. BBQ, home of deep-fried ribs. They were awesome. We also went to the World of Coca-Cola, visited a giant antiques market, and ate hot dogs at The Varsity, near Georgia Tech. Well, we tried to do the most Georgia-like things possible. We also were across the street once from a 3/4 scale replica of the White House, which was NOT the one at Tyler Perry Studios, so this is how I know there are (at least) two fake White Houses in the Atlanta area. There was also one night in downtown Atlanta where I went out to find a dessert place we had heard about, and though it had gone out of business, instead I found late-night pizza, an underground concert, and something that was either an early Halloween masquerade ball or one of those "Eyes Wide Shut" orgy deals, I don't know which because I wasn't able to guess the password. I see how you roll, Atlanta...

So I'm now 12 for 14 on states visited, but I can't possibly maintain this record, I'm going to have to start profiling states I have not been to. 

THE PLOT: Some of the most well-known former child stars deconstruct the highs and lows of growing up in the spotlight and how their ascension to fame, riches and power affected their futures.  

AFTER: We now seem to be entering the phase of the Doc Block where it takes me longer to track everyone who appears in archive footage than it took me to watch the movie. Yeah, it happens, and it's going to get worse before it gets better. I've scheduled a movie that is like ALL footage from various famous films, and that's a looming nightmare. I also have no idea which state I'm going to link it to, but that issue is probably solvable, given how many clips I'll have to work with. Somebody's bound to have been born in whichever states are left at that point. I mean, we're only two weeks in and there are five weeks to go, minimum, which means August will be 3/4 over before I run out of docs. Which means I should probably have a plan in place for October, and a way to get there, before the end of the Doc Block, that's just proper planning.

I'm here to LEARN during each Doc Block, and I can't help but notice a few things in common while I'm doing so - if the rise of "SNL" was a nexus event, causing a ripple effect in the world of comedy, and then if the creation of MTV was another nexus event, leading to the rise of a thousand bands that looked interesting in videos, then we've got another nexus event mentioned here, the swell of teen television caused by the creation of the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. The channels needed shows, and the shows needed actors who could also sing, dance and/or be funny, and thus there was a whole wave of new child stars created in the late 90's and early 2000's. Yeah, I realize that the channels existed for a while before that, but we're talking tonight about shows like "Hannah Montana" and "Camp Rock" and "High School Musical" and "The Cheetah Girls" that really took things to another level in terms of attracting the teen boom that called itself Gen X. 

And it turns out that some of the production companies filming those tweenie TV shows maybe did not have the talent's best interests at heart, because there were not always the protections in place to keep teenagers safe on the set, and also zero protections to help them cope with the by-products of fame, during and after. So we learn that there was drinking and drug use on set, not at criminal levels, but you know, a zero tolerance policy might have been better. And actors are going to date each other or hook up, which produced basically a shrug of a reaction, as in "Eh, what can you do?" I don't know, try something? Sex scenes have intimacy coordinators now, and action scenes have professional stuntmen, how about having counselors on hand to teach kids how to handle being famous? It's not the worst idea, and you can't tell me it's impossible unless you've tried it. 

If you go back and examine the child labor laws in America, back in the 1930's steps were taken to keep children from working in coal mines, picking crops and doing menial labor in factories, but the one industry that was EXEMPT was working in Hollywood. The Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 prohibit the employment of minors in "oppressive child labor", but by exempting the child actors (who probably had a pretty easy time in the 1930's) they created the opportunity for producers and directors to work the hell out of kids, ironically creating "oppressive child labor". When Demi Lovato details her weekly schedule back when she was going out on tours and starring in TWO Disney shows at one time, also recording more albums to support more tours, sheesh, I got exhausted just hearing about it. And you thought maybe Devo's schedule was rigoorous? 

Some of these teen actors also struggled with depression in addition to exhaustion - either they found stardom hard to handle, or there were conflicts on set, so they were acting with co-stars but not hanging out with them later, or they were mistreated by their former friends and classmates as revenge for suddenly becoming famous. This of course made some of them turn to drugs and/or alcohol, which as we all know is not a solution, just a coping mechanism with problems of its own. 

The money was another problem, as some of these kids went from paper routes or part-time jobs to suddenly being the breadwinners for their families, who then wanted or needed the gravy train to keep rolling for as long as possible. So that meant acting lessons, singing lessons, guitar lessons, ballet, horseback riding, anything to increase the skill set and make that kid more talented or well-rounded, and then you've maybe got to think about braces, fashions, the right haircuts and the horrible specter of acne, and this was all before the advent of social media, mind you, which is a nightmare minefield of its own. And so the kids had to endure all of this and THEN worry about their parents taking control all of the money they earned. This happened to Kenan Thompson, his mother dated some genius accountant who was going to invest all of his Nickelodeon money, but instead turned out to be just another con man. "Eh, what can you do?"

The hidden world behind teen TV shows is both fascinating and scary - Jojo Siwa talks about how she was treated after she accidentally came out via social media, and you know, even though it was just a post, and she had freedom of speech, she still had to explain herself to all of the companies she had endorsement deals with. Just when you think people are enlightened, you find out that's not true at all. Living your life under a microscope is not really where most people want to be, but living in front of a TV camera is only slightly less nerve-wracking, it seems. The only teen actors that seem to have totally skated are the ones from the "Harry Potter" films, but who knows, maybe that's just another whole documentary that hasn't been made yet. But just as I think that film schools should teach filmmakers how to do things like fundraising and festival submission, probably acting schools should have at least a sidebar about how to deal with fame, at least this would help the 1% of the students who are going to achieve it. Just a thought. 

Directed by Demi Lovato & Nicola Marsh 

Also starring Brooks Barnes, Chris Columbus (last seen in "Music by John Williams"), Oak Felder, Dianna De La Garza, Madison De La Garza, David Kamp, Mathew Klickstein, Taylor Lorenz, Dallas Lovato, Demi Lovato (last seen in "Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga"), Jordan Lutes, Chris McCarty, Leah Plunkett, Christine Reeves, Christina Ricci (last seen in "Speed Racer"), JoJo Siwa (last heard in "The Angry Birds Movie 2"), Sasha Alex Sloan, Chris Smith, Alyson Stoner, Raven-Symoné (last heard in "Everyone's Hero"), Kenan Thompson (last seen in "Big Fat Liar"), Yalda T. Uhls, Laura Veltz

with archive footage of Christine Baranski (last seen in "ABBA: Super Troupe"), Cher (ditto), Jaid Barrymore, John Drew Barrymore, Lionel Barrymore (last seen in "You Can't Take It With You"), Kirk Cameron (last seen in "The Best of Times"), Candace Cameron Bure (last seen in "Some Kind of Wonderful"), Nick Cannon (last seen in "I Am MLK Jr."), Aaron Carter, Charlie Chaplin (last seen in "Love the Coopers"), JC Chasez (last heard in "Trolls Band Together"), Robbie Coltrane (last seen in "An Accidental Studio"), Jackie Coogan (last seen in "The Real Charlie Chaplin"), Bill Cosby (last seen in "Barbara Walters: Tell Me Everything"), Ellen DeGeneres (ditto), Judy Garland (ditto), Kathie Lee Gifford (ditto), Hoda Kotb (ditto), Eddie Murphy (ditto), Dave Coulier (last seen in "Ghostheads"), Katie Couric (last seen in "Martha"), Macaulay Culkin (last heard in "Zootopia 2"), Miley Cyrus (last seen in "The 100th: Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden"), Robin Duke (last seen in "Club Paradise"), Mary Gross (ditto), Zac Efron (last seen in "A Family Affair"), Missy Elliott, Tom Felton (last seen in "Ophelia"), Michael Gambon (last seen in "The Wings of the Dove"), Selena Gomez (last heard in "Hotel Transylvania 4: Transformania"), Ryan Gosling (last seen in "The Fall Guy"), Ariana Grande (last seen in "Jaws @ 50: The Definitive Inside Story"), Rupert Grint (also last seen in "Music by John Williams"), Daniel Radcliffe (ditto), Shirley Temple (ditto), Henry Thomas (ditto), Emma Watson (ditto), Arsenio Hall (last seen in "Luther: Never Too Much"), Anjelica Huston (last seen in "From the World of John Wick: Ballerina"), Joe Jonas (last seen in "All In: The Fight for Democracy"), Kevin Jonas (ditto), Nick Jonas (last seen in "Love Again"), Raul Julia (last seen in "Havana", Tim Kazurinsky (last seen in "About Last Night"), Keshia Knight Pulliam, David Krumholtz (last seen in "Springsteen: Deliver Me from Nowhere"), Kevin Lafferty, Christopher Lloyd (last seen in "Devo"), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (last seen in "Earth, Wind & Fire"), Peter MacNicol (last seen in "Heat"), Nancy McKeon, Kel Mitchell (last seen in "The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle"), Brittany Murphy (last seen in "Drop Dead Gorgeous"), River Phoenix (last seen in "My Own Private Idaho"), Joe Piscopo (last seen in "Rather"), Brian Robbins, Mickey Rooney (last seen in "Blake Edwards: A Love Story in 24 Frames"), Eleanor Roosevelt, Franklin Roosevelt (last seen in "Join or Die"), Keri Russell (last seen in "Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning"), Winona Ryder (last seen in "Sigourney Weaver, the Most Iconic Action Heroine"), Bob Saget (last seen in "I Am Sam Kinison"), Britney Spears, Steven Spielberg (last seen in "Sergio Leone: The Italian Who Invented America"), John Stamos, James Stewart (last seen in "The Friend"), Carel Struycken (last seen in "Doctor Sleep"), Marc Summers, Jodie Sweetin (last seen in "Walt Before Mickey"), Justin Timberlake (last seen in "Paul Anka: His Way"), Oprah Winfrey (last seen in "The Six Triple Eight"), Jimmy Workman, Lee Thompson Young, Zendaya (last seen in "Dune: Part Two")

RATING: 5 out of 10 Teen Choice Awards

Adam Sandler: Funny Guy

Year 18, Day 194 - 7/13/26 - Movie #5,374 - SQC DOC BLOCK FILM #13

BEFORE: I'm in a summer slump, that's for sure. One job is mostly closed for the summer, as you might expect for a college. But they're open for screenings, there just isn't one until Friday. The other job is hosting concerts, but is not calling me in for concerts, so I'm kind of stuck in the middle right now, I'm sidelined for the week unless they suddenly realize they're short-handed - I'm standing by, checking my e-mail just in case, but unless something changes I guess I'll be catching up on laundry this week or organizing my comic books. Guess I'll take some naps and make sure I'm caught up on sleep too. 

Adam Sandler carries over from "Flipside". I thought maybe I might have to fall back on profiling Louisiana today, because of the character he played in "The Waterboy", but it turns out Sandler grew up in the great state of New Hampshire, so let's Get to Know Another State: 

Date admitted to the U.S.: June 21, 1788 (the 9th state)

Claim to fame: Still looking, let me get back to you on this. Maybe Mount Washington? I mean, this state had ONE interesting rock feature, the Old Man of the Mountain, but that fell apart a few years ago, which has got to be a metaphor for something. 

Prevalent language: Christian Science

State Motto: "Live Free or DIE" and really, those are your only two options there if you think about it

State Flower: Purple lilac
State Fruit: What's a fruit? 

State Fish: Brook trout (freshwater) / Striped bass (saltwater) - yes, the state has about 10 miles of Atlantic Ocean coast, and they will NOT let you forget it.

State Insect: Ladybug

State Bird: Purple finch (they just love purple stuff, apparently)

State Tree: White birch

State Beverage: Beer (but you have to cross over the border from Massachusetts to get it)

Notable Sports Teams: Absolutely not.

Fun Fact: The state is some kind of concentrated breeding ground for SNL comedians, Seth Meyers, Sarah Silverman and yes, Adam Sandler all grew up there. I knew this and I guess I forgot it. Maybe because there's nothing to do there besides go skiing and making fun of stuff - this is kind of how Seattle became famous for rock music and Portland, OR became famous for animators. Climate is everything, apparently. The economy seems to all be based on maple syrup and summer camps, but there are also county fairs and community theater - you know, it all seems rather idyllic except for all the skiing accidents. 

Since I grew up in Massachusetts, I've definitely been there when I was a kid, even if it was just to pass through and get to Maine. Really it was the go-to state if people from my hometown needed any beer, lottery tickets or fireworks, since everything was legal there and also no sales tax. So yeah, my visitation record rises to 11 out of 13.

THE PLOT: The inside story on Adam Sandler, actor, comedian, screenwriter, producer, and a consistent favorite among movie fans who are comforted that they will always have a good time. 

AFTER: I have crossed paths with Adam Sandler, but it was a long time ago - we lived in the same dorm at NYU, just for one year, I think - he was a junior or senior when I was a freshman, meaning he got a higher pick when it came to room assignments, and if I remember right, he chose the coveted penthouse suite while I had a room on the eighth floor, right across the street from church bells that would wake me up every Sunday morning. But we all bumped into him from time to time down in the TV room or the laundry room, and before long he had a bit part on "The Cosby Show" as Theo's white friend and then SNL appearances came along shortly after that. 

But man, even Adam Sandler deserves a better documentary about him than THIS. This is the worst kind of documentary, somebody slapped this together using 99% press interviews and red carpet footage, and half of the time you can't even hear what they're saying. But that means nobody put any effort into this at all, they didn't contact any celebrities to be interviewed, they never shot any footage, they probably didn't do ANY research at all, they just went to Sandler's Wiki page to find out which were his most successful films, they sourced all the red carpet moments from whatever Extra or Entertainment Tonight didn't air, and the main goal was just to fill up 90 minutes of air time on FM channel, whatever that is. Half of the programming on that channel seems to be recycled "stockumentaries" like this, focusing on how Tupac or Biggie or Elvis died, or similar lurid fare. I'm kind of ashamed that I'm using cheapo docs like this to round out the line-up this year, I've fallen for these in the past, like "Elton John: Becoming Rocketman" and "ABBA: Super Troupe" earlier this year. I should probably declare some kind of moratorium on these, umm, starting next year because this year I want to hit 50 docs and I'm going to need every one of them. 

This is kind of the counterpoint to "Flipside", here the director is invisible and somebody just slapped all the footage together and didn't care one bit (some of the red carpet speeches are repeated TWICE, which is really annoying, but it shows they were desperate to fill up the time allotted) - while with "Flipside" the director was front and center, he found a way to make each failed documentary project about HIM somehow, and he agonized over completing each film, to the point where you could say he cared a bit TOO much and that was paralyzing for him. Chris Wilcha had director's block, but today's director had something more like director's diarrhea. 

What's even worse is that the voice-over says the SAME EXACT thing about each one of Adam Sandler's movies - "critics hated it, but the fans loved it, it made XXX million at the box office". Do we need to hear that every single time, we get it!  They say it so many times that I couldn't tell if they were trying to imply that the critics don't matter or that moviegoers are idiots. Adam Sandler works with his friends, again and again, like Kevin James and David Spade and Rob Schneider, everybody already KNOWS this, we don't need a doc to tell us this, it's hardly a shocking reveal. Wait, Adam Sandler does DRAMAS too, like "Uncut Gems" and "Punch-Drunk Love" - well yeah, duh, everyone already knows that, too. Even when they get up to the Safdie brothers and we're expecting some great revelation about what it's like to work with Sandler on a drama, they don't really give us any surprising insights about that, either. You know, it was cool to work with him, he's really funny but he can also be intense, like WHO CARES?

Ugh, and we have to endure the entire speeches given by Kevin James and Henry Winkler when Adam Sandler got his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame - I mean, I can take what Henry Winkler said, he seems like a genuine, stand-up guy but the jokes that Kevin James made are very terrible and difficult to endure. It's called editing, guys, maybe look into it one of these days. Look, I'm just going to call a mulligan tonight and move on - maybe someday someone will make a good documentary about Adam Sandler but man, this ain't it. My low score tonight should not be taken as a rebuke toward the actor, but just against the very sloppy, amateurish work someone didn't do in making this barely-coherent combination of footage and voice-over. Don't watch this, whatever you do, it's just a time-suck, you won't learn anything from it. 

Directed by Danielle Winter (editor of "Diana Ross: Supreme Sensation" and "Tom Hanks: The Nomad")

With archive footage of: Jennifer Aniston (last seen in "Murder Mystery 2"), Bob Barker (last seen in "Happy Gilmore 2"), Jon Lovitz (ditto), Kevin Nealon (ditto), Benny Safdie (ditto), Rob Schneider (ditto), Drew Barrymore (last seen in "Big Miracle"), Noah Baumbach, Eric Bogosian (last seen in "Reptile"), Joseph Bologna (last seen in "Big Daddy"), Dana Carvey (last seen in "Pee-Wee as Himself"), Phil Hartman (ditto), Dennis Miller (ditto), Ellen Cleghorne (last seen in "I Am Chris Farley"), Terry Crews (last seen in "Draft Day"), Brooklyn Decker (last seen in "Lovesong"), Dennis Dugan (last seen in "Knox Goes Away"), Luke Evans (last seen in "Good Grief"), Chris Farley (last seen in "Tom Hanks: The Nomad"), Jorge Garcia (last seen in "The Munsters"), Dustin Hoffman (last seen in "Bob Fosse: It's Showtime!"), Jennifer Hudson (last seen in "The Secret Life of Bees"), Kevin James (last seen in "Playdate"), Chris Kattan (last seen in "Will & Harper"), Taylor Lautner (last seen in "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2"), Jay Leno (last seen in "Martha"), Michelle Lombardo, Idina Menzel (last seen in "Wicked"), Kyle Newachek, Conan O'Brien (last seen in "If I Had Legs I'd Kick You"), Andy Richter (last seen in "Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2"), Chris Rock (last seen in "Boomerang"), Josh Safdie, Jackie Sandler (last seen in "The Out-Laws"), Blake Shelton (last seen in "Glen Campbell: I'll Be Me"), David Spade (also carrying over from "Flipside"), Ben Stiller (last seen in "Nutcrackers"), Julia Sweeney (last seen in "I Am Chris Farley"), Emma Thompson (last seen in "Matilda: The Musical"), Malcolm-Jamal Warner (last seen in "Fool's Gold"), Luke Wilson (last seen in "You Gotta Believe"), Henry Winkler (last seen in "A Disturbance in the Force"),

RATING: 2 out of 10 films made directly for Netflix