BEFORE: Well, I watched the previous "Trolls" film so I love continuing with a franchise, but I just have not given the films in this series very good scores, but who knows, that could change. The rating is a very subjective thing, it can be affected by my day, how tired I am, what I had to eat, what's going on my life. It's probably more of a crap-shoot than I care to admit, but then again, sometimes a film is just crap. We'll see.
Anna Kendrick carries over again from "Self Reliance".
FOLLOW-UP TO: "Trolls World Tour" (Movie #3,933)
THE PLOT: Poppy discovers that Branch was once part of the boy band BroZone with his brothers, Floyd, John Dory, Spruce and Clay. When Floyd is kidnapped, Branch and Poppy embark on a journey to reunite his other two brothers and rescue Floyd.
AFTER: If you thought that the previous installment in the "Trolls" franchise was terrible, well, it's more of the same. Did you expect differently, that the films would suddenly get BETTER? Just not gonna happen. At least there was a point to the first film, the Trolls were being eaten by the Bergens and Poppy set out to somehow change that, which she did. The second film was pretty stupid, like all of the Troll Realm was shown to be divided by music genres, but ones from OUR world, translated into the fantasy world. What we knew as Trolls in the first film turned out to be Pop Trolls, but there were also Techno Trolls and Country Trolls and Smooth Jazz Trolls, which was all just WAY too complicated.
The third film did away with some of that nonsense from the second film, but instead decided to focus on Boy Band Music, which, come on, is just NOT an improvement. It's way too late to re-think this, and I never thought I'd say this, but could we PLEASE bring back the country music and the K-Pop?
Poppy talks just WAY too fast here, like, does someone want to check on Anna Kendrick, can we make sure she's OK? I'm getting worried that she's going to burn herself out, talking and living so much faster than us normal humans. It makes the characters she plays SUPER annoying.
Story-wise, this is nonsense piled on top of more nonsense. Trolls have boy bands? That's a human thing, right? Why do the trolls have this, and was it just in the Troll Kingdom's past, or is it still a thing? BroZone is a terrible name for a band, in the fantasy world OR the real world. And the terrible song titles are supposed to be funny, but that doesn't mean they aren't also still terrible. Poppy finds out that her boyfriend Branch used to be in the band BroZone when he was a baby, and he has four brothers who were also in the singing group, but after some creative differences they went their separate ways.
One brother, John Dory, shows up in Troll Kingdom in search of Branch, because their brother Floyd has been kidnapped by two spoiled teen musicans who could somehow suck out his musical essence and become talented singers. Jeez, the rules of this Troll universe just seem to change to fit whatever story somebody wants to tell, don't they? I mean, nobody in the first two films was sucking musical talent out of Trolls, and now, suddenly that's a thing? Also, who are these "people" that look like really stretchy humans, where do they fit in to the Trollverse, and also Branch's brother Spruce (or Bruce) is married to some characters that look like renegades from a Dr. Seuss book, who or what are THEY?
Anyway, please remind me to never watch any more "Trolls" films, because I may forget and watch a fourth one if they make a fourth one. But honestly, I'd rather not. I hereby un-obligate myself from needing to ever watch another film in this franchise. They're all terrible, besides, I don't have any kids and I've made up for all of my movie-watching sins several times over by now. So I'm walking away with a clean slate, I think, but please, no more of this.
Also starring the voices of Justin Timberlake (last heard in "Trolls World Tour"), Anderson .Paak (ditto), Kunal Nayyar (ditto), Kenan Thompson (last seen in "Butterfly in the Sky"), Walt Dohrn (last heard in "The Bad Guys"), Ron Funches (last seen in "80 for Brady"), David Fynn (last seen in "The Mauritanian"), Kevin Michael Richardson (last heard in "Minions: The Rise of Gru"), Eric André (last heard in "Sing 2"), Daveed Diggs (last heard in "The Little Mermaid" (2023)), Kid Cudi (last seen in "Don't Look Up"), Troye Sivan (last seen in "Boy Erased"), Camila Cabello, Zosia Mamet (last seen in "Under the Silver Lake"), Amy Schumer (last seen in "Unfrosted"), Andrew Rannells (last seen in "A Simple Favor"), Christopher Mintz-Plasse (last seen in "Promising Young Woman"), Zooey Deschanel (last seen in "Eulogy"), Aino Jawo (also last heard in "Trolls World Tour"), RuPaul Charles (last seen in "Little Richard: I Am Everything"), Dillon Francis (last seen in "Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse"), GloZell Green (last seen in "The Wedding Ringer"), Patti Harrison (last seen in "Together Together"), Lance Bass (last seen in "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry"), JC Chasez (last seen in "Opening Night"), Joey Fatone (last seen in "Matinee"), Chris Kirkpatrick, Iris Dohrn (last heard in "Trolls"), Nina Bakshi (ditto), Melissa Mabie, James Ryan (last heard in "Puss in Boots: The Last Wish"), Tim Heitz, Ryan Naylor (last heard in "The Croods: A New Age"), Nick Fletcher (last seen in "The Wife"), Secunda Wood, Roger Craig Smith (last heard in "Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania"), Jakari Fraser (ditto), Fred Tatasciore (last heard in "Space Jam: A New Legacy"), Nick Kishiyama, Kayla Melikian (last heard in "Raya and the Last Dragon"), Titus Blake, Nicole Lynn Evans (last heard in "Wish"), Felipe Vasquez.
RATING: 2 out of 10 frosted tips
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