BEFORE: It's almost the end of the month, I'm getting set up for the horror film chain, and I know it's time to this because of that classic rhyme that we all learned as children:
Thirty days has September,
But too many movies and I'll be bored in November.
After the animation films are done,
I'll add up my movies, and there'll be thirty-one.
See, it was right there along, I should have remembered that rhyme, telling me it's OK to go over the monthly limit, as long as I keep the chain alive. That's really the only thing that matters, never break the chain. So Charlie Day carries over from "The Super Mario Bros. Movie" and someone from THIS film is going to be in the first horror movie on October 1. I'll just watch this film on Hulu, then post twice and I'll be all caught up. Format breakdown tomorrow for September, then October links on Tuesday.
THE PLOT: A fool for love becomes an accidental celebrity only to lose it all.
AFTER: Man, this film really links to a lot of the movies on my romance list, maybe I should have saved it to make my linking easier next February. But I can't really call this film a romance, even though it has a love affair and a marriage in it, that would still be something of a stretch. Nah, if I need the linking here, it's better to dump this one here, and next February will just have to take care of itself. Besides, I don't even know which films I'll be watching then, so saving a film that links films that I might watch could mean that I'll just end up never watching this one. Carpe cinema.
I went into this one not knowing what to expect at all, and well, honestly, I'm not really sure what I ended up finding, as in I don't know what to DO with the things that happened in the movie, and how I might feel about them. A lot of things happen, sure, but what do they really end up meaning? Do they all add up to some kind of coherent point or statement about the world today, and if not, is it OK if they don't? Was this meant as a commentary about celebrity today, how easy it is to become famous and then how easy it also is for that fame to just disappear overnight? Or am I bringing that to the table, and really there's no message there at all, no larger meaning? I'm not sure, but if so, is THAT the message, that life has no meaning other than what we impose on it and we serve no purpose other than that which we create for ourselves? Whoa... Nah, probably I'm overthinking it.
The central character is a mute man who has the mental capacity of a five-year old, or thereabouts, and he gets released from the mental health facility for, well, for no really good reason, they just kind of drop him off in the middle of Hollywood because he needs to form a bond with someone, which honestly does not sound like he's getting proper medical care. But sure, I get it, he can't escape from the looney bin because he doesn't have the capacity to do so, instead the forces around him need to change to get him to the outside world, so he can either sink or swim or reveal something to us about humanity. Well, the kind of humanity you're likely to find in Hollywood, anyway, so honestly, maybe lower your expectations a bit.
He can imitate other people's actions, but he can't seem to act on his own, he doesn't have the ability to think for himself. Imagine Forrest Gump mixed with Peter Sellers' character from "Being There", somebody who just goes where the day takes him and doesn't fully comprehend what's taking place around him. While he's selling oranges by the highway, he's spotted by a producer who notices a resemblance to a difficult actor, Sir Tom Bingsley, who's currently filming a movie about Billy the Kid but also refuses to leave his trailer. The producer scoops up our nameless hero, puts him in a cowboy outfit and uses him as a stand-in so the filming of this Western can continue.
A struggling publicist who's bribed his way on to the set to seek out talent spots him, and assumes his name to be a misheard coffee order, when the director asks for a "Latte, Pronto". Soon the lead actor dies on the set (I won't get into how) and Latte is promoted to lead actor to take his place, despite the fact that he can't say any lines and has a bad habit of looking straight into the camera, the one thing that an actor shouldn't do, unless they're Ryan Reynolds in "Deadpool". But for some reason, his breaking of the fourth wall is regarded as innovative by critics, the film is a hit, and suddenly Latte Pronto is booked on talk shows and cast to play a superhero, Mosquito Boy, again, all of this happens despite the fact that he can't speak, and you'd think that might be a requirement to be on a "talk" show, right?
Soon he's got a team of agents to go with his publicist, his co-star is taking him out to parties, and showing him how to shoot out streetlights and get into drunken fights at parties, while his female co-star has a love affair with him, and they get married and adopt three foreign children. I'm not saying this is based on any particular actor, but there may be certain similarities to Brad Pitt's career path, if I'm not mistaken. JK. But there is a whole satirical comedy film, "Living in Oblivion", based loosely on a director's frustration after working with Brad Pitt on the film "Johnny Suede", just saying.
After a few more movies, Pronto's career seems to be in trouble, he ends up in jail after fighting with the paparazzi, he gets injured on the set when he falls off a building, and is replaced by a stand-in who soon becomes more successful than him, his next film is a bomb and his agents drop him because of bad publciity, and soon his wife divorces him and takes up with their former co-star. Yeah, sure, this sounds like every other Hollywood marriage, right? Except again, this guy can't talk or really DO anything, he just lets all these things happen to him.
His agents take all of his money, he loses the house and moves in with his publicist in a run-down hotel, and after his publicist finally admits that he doesn't know what he's doing at all, he has a heart attack from too many energy drinks. Pronto stays by his side at the hospital, but when a doctor wants a selfie with him, he leaves the room for a while and when he comes back, the publicist has been moved to another room, but Pronto thinks he's died. Pronto is homeless for a while, but saves a man's life and the Mayor of Los Angeles awards him the key to the city, but it doesn't really open any doors.
Or does it? It opens a figurative door, as Pronto is encouraged by the Mayor to run for office, he's already got name recognition and now a record of doing good deeds, so there might be something there, except that, you know, a politician is expected to TALK from time to time, give speeches and such, so it's a bit unclear why anyone thinks he would make a good politician. A couple of mega-billionaire brothers then kidnap him and threaten to kill him if he threatens any of their business interests (hmm, that sounds a bit familiar...) and they offer him another shot at a movie career if he'll only give up on politics. Seems fair. Finally he accidentally bumps into that publicist, they reunite and go to have dinner.
It's weird, right? It seems to be about so many things but then ultimately has nothing cohesive or coherent to say at all. I mean, should we be wary of mega-billionaires funding politicians? We already are, right? Should be not go see movies that star actors who can't talk, or should we try to bring back silent movies and old slapstick comedy? What's the message here, don't trust anybody who lives in Los Angeles? Man, I'm way ahead of you there, that's so done and done. Fame is a fickle mistress? Yeah, no shit, if you don't keep making good movies or you mess up and get bad press, you're done, we know all this already, too. But who in Hollywood hasn't been divorced a few times and is desperate for a comeback? People are free to LEAVE the business any time, theoretically, so why don't they? Once in a while you see a story about some actor or actress who buys a farm with their movie salary and tries to lead a simple life, or marry a tour guide somewhere but how exactly does that work?
I think maybe the message is that it's good to have friends, and it's good to BE a friendly person because then you get friends, and with a bit of luck you might get to make a movie and you can put all your friends in the movie, and if you're hanging out with your friends all day and being creative with them, is that really work? Well, yeah, sure, it's work but it's fun work if you can get it. But ultimately life is short and pointless and has no meaning, so you might as well enjoy it while you can. That's my take-away, anyway, but here you might have to come up with your own.
Also starring Ken Jeong (last seen in "Ride Along 2"), Kate Beckinsale (last seen in "Contraband"), Adrien Brody (last seen in "Asteroid City"), Jason Sudeikis (last seen in "Colossal"), Ray Liotta (last seen in "Cocaine Bear"), Steve Coulter (last seen in "Oppenheimer"), Jason Bateman (last seen in "Air"), Edie Falco (last seen in "Avatar: The Way of Water"), Mary Elizabeth Ellis (last seen in "Licorice Pizza"), Drew Droege (last seen in "Me Time"), Andrew Santino (ditto), Artemis Pebdani (last heard in "Puss in Boots: The Last Wish"), Leonora Pitts (last seen in "Manson Family Vacation"), Jimmi Simpson (last seen in "Loser"), Lance Barber (last seen in "Gangster Squad"), Lindsay Musil, Aixa Maldonado (last seen in "World Trade Center"), Shane Paul McGhie, Andre Hyland (last seen in "The Death of Dick Long"), Julia Cho (last seen in "Girlfriend's Day"), Allison Paige, Dean Norris (last seen in "Unfrosted"), Scott Allen Perry, Glenn Howerton (last seen in "How It Ends"), Luvh Rakhe, Robert Belushi (last seen in "Valentine's Day"), Andrew Leeds (last seen in "Office Christmas Party"), Austin Zajur (last seen in "Clerks III"), Scott Pitts, Common (last seen in "Street Kings"), Jillian Bell (last seen in "Murder Mystery 2"), Benito Martinzez (last seen in "American Made"), Katherine McNamara (last seen in "New Year's Eve"), Brett Wagner (last seen in "The Happytime Murders"), John Malkovich (last seen in "Ava"), Tom O'Rion, Tom Beyer (last seen in "Dog"), Alanna Ubach (last seen in "Clockwatchers"), David Hornsby (last heard in "Minority Report"), Effy Shafir, Helen Geller (last seen in "The Onion Movie"), Lisa Schwartz, Romel De Silva, Jeremy Chu, Leandra Terrazzano, Lyndon Smith (last seen in "Secret in Their Eyes"), June Carryl (last seen in "Under the Silver Lake"), Moses Storm, David McClary, Justin Jedlica, Peter Mackenzie (last seen in "Term Life"), Christine Horn (last seen in "Blended"), John Ales (last seen in "American Fiction"), Christopher Macken, Harry Yi (last seen in "Balls of Fury"), George Lopez (last seen in "Blue Beetle"), Stan Divranos, Michael Ray Escamilla (last seen in "Hot Pursuit"), Edy Ganem (last seen in "Like Crazy"), Denise Koek, Sheila Korsi, Norma Maldonado.
RATING: 4 out of 10 nonsense chants from an expensive shaman
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