Year 16, Day 126 - 5/5/24 - Movie #4,725
BEFORE: I always kind of wondered about this film, it's not a Tarantino film but it's got Tarantino in it as an actor, so I'm kind of curious about that. And it's been on the list for a VERY long time, yet now the linking has brought it right to the top. I've learned not to question that when it happens, even if the film is terrible, well, at least now it will be gone from the list and I can move on to bigger and better things.
David Cross carries over again from "It's a Disaster". And another big birthday SHOUT-out to Lisa Jane Persky, born May 5, 1955.
THE PLOT: After 3 years in prison, Julian breaks out and returns to get his half from the bank robbery and see Lucille again. But the Devil took the loot and Tuerto took Lucille.
AFTER: Wow, this is almost exactly the same storyline as "Tell" - a guy gets out of prison after two or three years, returns to where he last lived and finds his old partner, and also the woman he was living with who is now living with someone else, or so she says. He also has to outmaneuver two cops/agents who are following him to find the stolen money. There are some differences, though, like in "Tell" the lead character stashed the money and eventually gets back to his hiding place, and in "Destinty" the partner lost the money when a mystical figure stole his car. Also in "Tell" the lead's ex claims to be raising his child, and in "Destiny", the lead's ex is currently pregnant and claims that this is from her having sex with the lead character in a dream while he was still in prison.
Yeah, about that, there's a lot here that just doesn't make sense at all, like Tarantino's character, who came into this world via a crack in a motel swimming pool, which resulted from a lightning storm. The IMDB states in its synopsis that this is the Devil - why, just because he came from below? The portal could have come from anywhere, like another point on Earth or even outer space, and why are we even arguing about this when the movie doesn't make any sense anyway? Also, you can't get somebody pregnant when you're miles away from each other and having some kind of dream sex together. Right?
After escaping prison, Julian gets a ride out of the desert from Johnny Destiny, who he notices drives a road runner car, just like the one his ex-partner drove. It's too bad Julian doesn't realize that it IS the same car, Johnny stole it from Thoreau, but he finds that out later - otherwise he could just save some time and get the bank job loot back from him right there, instead of having to wait until the end of the movie.
After a few flashbacks about how he met Lucille, Julian gets back together with her, just before she's going to perform her cabaret show for the famous talent agent, Vinnie Vidivici. Something very Julius Caesar-like about that name. This is all very silly, like who even DOES a cabaret act in Vegas any more, and sings standards like "That Old Black Magic". Oh, right, this film came out in 1995, but even then, I think acts like that were very passé. Maybe there's something kind of timeless about this film, in addition to it also being terrible and narratively very stupid.
If Johnny Destiny was the Devil, why did he steal the car and the money. Oh, right, yeah, he's evil then. OK, then why did he give both BACK, and where was he for three years, just driving around with Thoreau's car and a trunk full of stolen money? Dang it, that maybe would be EXACTLY what the Devil would do, he wouldn't need money, but he'd take delight in keeping it away from the people it belonged to, even if they also stole it. But he does need Thoreau to fix the crack in the pool so he can use the next lightning storm to get back to wherever it is he came from, whether that's Hell or outer space or even Atlantic City.
So many other questions, like what the hell did Lucille see in Tuerto? Why is she so eager to leave town with Julian, considering she just got offered a big recording contract? Why not stay in Vegas and see how that pans out? For that matter, why does Julian need to leave town, now that he got his half of the money from the heist? Let's face it, nothing really adds up here, there's no story arc, no denouement, just a bunch of things that happen before people jump into the fixed swimming pool and teleport to wherever. What a cop-out. At 102 minutes long, that's a lot of movie for almost nothing to happen in it.
This movie is so bad that it was released on VHS and laser-disc, but NEVER on DVD or Blu-Ray. The silence of people who want to see this film is practically deafening. It's available digitally but apparently there was never a call to put it on physical media, because well, who would want that?
Also starring Dylan McDermott (last seen in "Nobody Walks"), Nancy Travis (last seen in "The Jane Austen Book Club"), James Le Gros (last seen in "Nostalgia"), Quentin Tarantino (last heard in "Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood"), James Belushi (last seen in "The Whole Truth"), Janet Carroll (last seen in "Forces of Nature"), Richard Edson (last seen in "Desperately Seeking Susan"), Bobcat Goldthwait (last seen in "World's Greatest Dad"), Barry Shabaka Henley (last seen in "Carrie" (2013)), Lisa Jane Persky (last seen in "I Am Divine"), Sarah Trigger (last seen in "Pet Sematary II"), Tracey Walter (last seen in "Beloved"), Allen Garfield (last seen in "Nashville"), Che Lujan.
RATING: 3 out of 10 motel rooms named after Marilyn Monroe movies.
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