BEFORE: OK, I've got a path to Mother's Day, I can rest easy for a bit. This was a tough one, I stayed up late Friday night working it out - my first thought was, it's about 37 days until Mother's Day, and I've got about 32 or 33 films in the documentary chain, arranged in a linked circle, which I can enter at just about any point, as long as that leaves me with an end film that links to a Mother's Day film, and I've got several of those earmarked. Last year's Doc Block started in April, and it worked out fine, but I tried several times and I could NOT get it to work this year.
Next plan, there are about 35 days between Mother's Day and Father's Day, could the documentary chain fit there? Yes, it can, with two or three days to spare. It doesn't necessarily put the films in the order I want, but I've got multiple ins and outs this way, three ways to enter the chain via Mother's Day-related films, and three ways to exit the chain to the same Father's Day film. That's pretty good, it gives me a lot of options and a little extra space to add a doc here or there, but it doesn't put the documentary I want on July 4. So I'll keep this in mind, but now we're talking about driving down to North Carolina for a week in May to visit my parents, so that would mean I'd be away from my DVR and computer, and would not have full access to the films I have saved. So I think I'm looking at starting the Doc Block in June, right after Father's Day, and this way if the film with "American" in the title doesn't line up with the most American of holidays, I can add a film or two until I get to a starting point that I want. I've got all summer to fi the Doc Block in somewhere, so I like my odds that way.
But what I do have now is the actor LINKS to get me to the end of April, and they start with Alden Ehrenreich carrying over from "Oppenheimer". I like it, it's not so obvious as Robert Downey Jr. or Kenneth Branagh carrying over (though they're both in the documentary about Stan Lee, which was very tempting...) and then after that: Patrick Fischler, Myra Lucretia Taylor, Frank Harts, Adrienne Warren, John Boyega, David Alan Grier, Taraji P. Henson, Idris Elba, Tilda Swinton, Michael Fassbender, Jack Reynor, Geoffrey Streatfield, Nick Frost, James Marsden, Alan Tudyk, Robert Patrick, Craig Sheffer, Joey Lauren Adams, Michael McKean, and Helen Mirren. Good luck figuring out what movies have those actors in them, if that's your thing, and if you do, you'll see how much distance I've put between "Oppenheimer" and "Barbie".
THE PLOT: An unexpected promotion at a cutthroat Manhattan hedge fund pushes a young couple's relationship to the brink, threatening to unravel more than their recent engagement.
AFTER: Yes, I feel good about this path - partially because this film DID play at the theater where I work, and I did work that shift, and then I think I just kind of forgot about the movie. Well, I put it on my list and then forgot about it, but the chain reminded me, which is fine - that's why I have a list. Also, the cast list is NOT that big and doesn't have many name actors, so if I don't watch this now, it's going to sit on the list for like three years and then scroll off of Netflix, then where will I be? Carpe cinemum.
This is one of those "challenging" relationship films, that depicts a couple getting together and then everything going wrong, and I guess I'm glad it didn't end up in the February chain, but I probably could have found a way to make that work if I had to. More than anything it's a cautionary tale about not dating your co-worker, because that situation is a complete minefield, and really, everybody should know that by now, what with everything that's been in the news AND all the sexual harassment seminars they make everybody take, annually, at just about every corporate job. Those films that they make you watch, with a survey afterwards to make sure you learned something, are completely terrible, all of them. Bad production values, carefully worded phrases to make everyone feel included, but then they end up coming across as horribly sexist and kind of judgmental no matter how they do it. I saw one training program that used footage from the film "The Assistant" and hey, thanks for the spoilers, guys.
OK, let me try to highlight just where this relationship took a wrong turn. I've got to say right from the start, obviously two co-workers shouldn't date for one simple reason - if either one gets promoted, they could be the other one's boss, and that's no bueno, so of course it's exactly what happens here. Also, they're supposed to disclose to H.R. if they want to date each other, and sure, nobody wants to fill out a form, that would make the whole attraction/dating/sleeping together thing so, well, formal. If they don't do that, though, then they have to pretend in front of all their co-workers that they're NOT attracted to each other, NOT sleeping together and now we're into lying and deception. When a co-worker says that he's noticed the way Emily looks at Luke, Emily says, "I don't shit where I eat..." which is a catch-phrase of course, but umm, you're equating your relationship with "shitting", so that's not a good sign. Can't we come up with a better phrase than this?
We don't really know how long they've been dating, but things start to escalate at Luke's brother's wedding, where they have sex in the bathroom, and during that (umm, the details are probably best not mentioned here) Emily notices the ring on the floor that's fallen out of Luke's pocket. So he's got no choice to propose, which apparently he'd been planning for some time. Sure, because every woman wants a man to pop the question when he's kneeling on a public restroom floor, and they've just had nasty sex. Sure, that's every woman's dream, right? Really, he could have covered it better, said that was a fake ring or something they used during his brother's wedding rehearsal so they didn't lose the real ring. This guy Luke doesn't really think on his feet very well.
The real trouble starts when a portfolio manager at their firm has a meltdown and starts breaking office equipment - hey, it's a high-pressure job, we get it - and is fired. Emily hears a rumor that Luke is going to get a promotion to replace the guy who lost it, but then the company's CEO cals her late at night - he thinks she lives out on Long Island, he doesn't know she's sharing an apartment with a co-worker - and asks her out to a private bar somewhere in FiDi, sure, nothing weird about meeting the boss at 2:00 am in a secret club. But he offers her the promotion, he sees something in her background or personality that convinces him she's got what it takes.
Bad news for Luke, great news for Emily, and a weird situation because they just got engaged, and they didn't tell HR about their relationship, and now SHE is HIS boss, not the other way around like they expected. Luke feels resentment, and he starts attending a self-help seminar about being more assertive in the workplace. He tries to get Emily into the lessons, but dude, she doesn't need help, she's GOT the gig. Now it's all awkward and stuff because she's got to give Luke orders and hold him accountable when he doesn't follow through on things, and meanwhile he's taking this class that tells him not to take any B.S. from his employers. Umm, what could POSSIBLY go wrong? Well, a lot.
Emily thinks she needs to be "one of the guys" and hang out with the other PMs, even at a strip club, even when drugs and alcohol are involved, and Luke's at home alone in their apartment, sinking deeper into resentment. There's another opening and Emily tries to suggest Luke for it, so they can be equals again, but the CEO lets her know that's never going to happen, he only hired Luke as a favor for a friend, and he figures Luke will eventually quit when he doesn't get promoted, as people tend to do. This would only be a problem if Luke weren't taking a course on how to aggressively get the promotion he thinks he deserves. Luke's also not doing his work properly, and the company loses millions, but then Emily shorts a British company on a hunch that pays off, and earns the company millions more, and she gets a six-figure commission for that. You'd think, hey, this is found money, like she won the lottery or something, but "mo money, mo problems", right? They could probably move to a bigger apartment or buy a condo or a co-op, only that would be another blow to Luke's fragile alpha-male ego.
Meanwhile, Luke still hasn't told his parents about the engagement, Emily hasn't had time to just stop and enjoy the fact that she got engaged, because the new position (and those late nights partying) are taking up all her time. The couple stops having sex regularly, and then their families put together a surprise engagement party. Oh, great. They're in the downward spiral at this point, and these forces are going to tear them apart, it's just a question of exactly how and when. Largely I think you have to put the blame on Luke here, I feel his pain because my wife makes more money than I do, but he could just learn to live with that. If she's bringing home big bonus checks, that's a great situation to be in, why not try to relax and enjoy that? Or get out of that stupid financial business and find something else you really want to do? Or you know, stay home and learn to cook and maybe clean up once in a while, be like her support staff so she can do her job better and keep those bonus checks coming in? Get the hell OVER yourself, is what I'm saying. Or just go ahead and keep getting angrier and more resentful and more desperate, because that's a good look, and come on, it doesn't end well.
I still can't see Ehrenreich as anything but the young Han Solo - but the situqtion here is possibly similar to what happened to Han and Leia after "Return of the Jedi". After all the fighting was over, Leia's diplomatic skills would be needed by the new New Republic much more than Han's, umm...piloting skills? Smuggling tricks? Yes, there were novels set after the events of Episode 6, where the couple married, had two kids and found ways to be important to the new government system, but those books have been retconned out of existence now, and sure enough, when we saw Han again in "Episode 7" he'd gone back to his scoundrelly smuggling ways. Makes sense, he couldn't take a back-seat in the relationship, he was never one for being a co-pilot, just the captain of his own ship. Err, general? Doesn't matter, but I'd still like to know when they split, according to the new continuity. Things went south at some point, as they always tend to do, and maybe co-parenting just wasn't in the cards, I bet a lot of the Knights of Ren came from broken homes. (Huh, that's funny, he plays "Luke" in this movie, not "Han".)
I'm not going to get into the situations near the end, because clearly they're there JUST to be controversial, JUST to get audiences talking, or get some buzz on social media. And the ending is really a cop-out, we don't know exactly what happens after the film cuts to black, there are several possibilities, and you'll kind of have to imagine what happens between Emily and Luke after that. Just bear in mind that what you think happens after the credits roll could say a lot about you as a person. I think these two are like oil and vinegar, they came together for a while and had a thing that worked out, but if they're both this self-centered, these Gen Z bastards, then ultimately no matter what happens they're destined to separate over time. But no, go on, tell me your version of a possible happy ending here - neither character really deserves one.
Also starring Phoebe Dynevor, Eddie Marsan (last seen in "Flag Day"), Rich Sommer (last seen in "King Richard"), Sebastian de Souza, Sia Alipour (last seen in "Kick-Ass 2"), Yacine Ramoul, Brandon Bassir, Jamie Wilkes, Freddy Sawyer, Geraldine Somerville (last seen in "The Gentlemen"), Patrick Fischler (last seen in "Under the Silver Lake"), Laurel Lefkow, Buck Braithwaite, Jim Sturgeon (last seen in "My Dinner with Hervé"), Linda Ljoka, Leopold Hughes (last seen in "RED 2"), Ivona Kustudic.
RATING: 4 out of 10 steak knives (conveniently placed)
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