BEFORE: Yeah, I snuck out to the movies on a Monday night a few weeks ago, to catch the one animated film that I regretted not being able to squeeze in back in late June/early July. I'd already gone through the cast list, trying to fit it into that chain, and though there was a linking opportunity (through Jenny Slate, who also did voices for "Zootopia" and "The Secret Life of Pets"), dropping this one in would only work if I watched her other two films back-to-back, which I didn't. So at the time, there was only linking that would get me TO this film, and not on the other end.
But then I worked out my schedule for the rest of the year, and I realized I had two Steve Coogan films in the mix - so I could drop this one in between those two films, but I didn't want to wait until mid-August, because by then "Despicable Me 3" could be gone from theaters, replaced by "The Emoji Movie" or even worse films (if that's possible) so I figured I needed to get myself out to the theater again, or else I'd miss the chance to fill this slot, and be one film short for the year.
So here it is, and I think Steve Coogan will now carry over from "Hamlet 2", he voices two characters in this film, and he'll be here tomorrow as well.
THE PLOT: Gru meets his long-lost charming and more successful twin brother Dru, who wants to team up with him for one last criminal heist.
AFTER: What is it about the third film in a movie series? Why do so many franchises seem to run off the rails when they hit the third film - I'm trying to think of some similar examples, like maybe "Superman III" or "Spider-Man 3"? "Batman Forever" or "X-Men: The Last Stand"? "Alien 3" and "Robocop III" don't seem to be very popular either - but on the other hand, you've got "Rocky III", "Back to the Future III" (unless you hate Westerns), "Toy Story 3" and "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade", so what's the deal?
Before my screening of "Despicable Me 3", they ran the preview for "Pitch Perfect 3", which seems like another franchise which probably should have stopped after making 2 movies - because I can tell just from the plotline that they simply did not know what to do with the Barden Bellas after they graduated from college, so they're all going to be failing at their jobs, and they apparently are going to get back together and sing (duh) at some hastily-invented USO performance, where they're going to compete (?) against real bands with instruments, and that's just not even a thing. Meanwhile it looks like the sports-style commentators will be back to narrate their entire performance, and that's not going to make any sense at all.
So the same thing really goes for "Despicable Me 3", the writers just didn't know what to do with all of the characters - which follows logically, if you think about it. In the first film you introduce the characters, who they are and what they do. In the second film you want to give them something different to do, so you don't just make the first film over again, and then in the third film you have to come up with something even more different for them to do, and by this time they're so far removed from who they were in the first place, and the third film is therefore so different from the first one that it's anything but a logical progression. Believe me, this is how we got to a bunch of teddy bears fighting stormtroopers in "Return of the Jedi" - you can almost follow the logic: "OK, we did a desert planet, an ice planet, what else can we do...forest planet? And we did tall, furry things so how about short ones this time around?"
So we've seen the Minions work for Gru, and we've seen them work for other villains, so let's do something new with them - let's send them to jail! (Right...and then they go to camp, and then they save Christmas...) I don't even think there was much comedic material gained by sending them to jail, they did a dance number and had the required food fight, and then they escaped from jail, rather matter-of-factly and in a not-very exciting way. The same problem affected Gru's three daughters, they were really straining to give them something to do - the oldest daughter participates in a local dance custom with unexpected results, but that storyline goes exactly nowhere. And the littlest one, Agnes, convinces herself she can catch a unicorn in the forest - there's a bit of a comic payoff, but another "nothing burger" when it comes to relating to the overall story. And the middle daughter is just along for that ride, they couldn't even think of anything to do with her.
I don't think I'm that far off the mark, here - the character voiced by Russell Brand in the first two films isn't even part of the picture, supposedly he froze himself in carbonite (which is a Star Wars thing, not a real thing) so I guess that means that Russell Brand wasn't available?
I get it, the focus should be back on Gru, especially after he learns that he has a twin brother, and that his father was one of the best villains of all time - this fact and the brother's ambition are almost enough to turn Gru back to being a villain again. Which would have been interesting, if he wasn't trying to play both sides off against each other, pretending to be a villain in order to do something heroic, to try and get his job back in the Anti-Villain League. And Gru's wife (?) Lucy is, much like the middle daughter, just along for the ride. Oh, she steps in to save the day once or twice, but in terms of being her own character, with her own thoughts and plans, it's like she's a total blank.
The big villain of the piece, however, is Balthazar Bratt, former child star from the 1980's, who appeared on the fictional Disney Channel-like sitcom "Evil Bratt". (His famous quote: "I've been a baaaaad boy!!") He's obsessed with the music and fashions of the 80's, and things like keytars and shoulder pads and Rubik's Cubes. I can get behind this character, he certainly has good taste. But while breakdancing was obviously a thing back then, I don't recall super-big, super-sticky chewing gum being that big of a deal, did I miss that 80's fad? I remember we had Hubba Bubba, and then that gum with the liquid inside, but didn't that cause cancer or something? I thought they had to take that off the market.
NITPICK POINT: The minions get in trouble for crashing a singing competition reality show, and together they perform the Gilbert and Sullivan song "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General", but of course in their own semi-French nonsense language. Is this really the best song for them to sing? Without the lyrics, this song is nothing - the tune is just the same three or four notes over and over again, so essentially it's now just "Ba ba ba ba BA ba ba ba Bababa..." It's like when that dreadful Mannheim Steamroller group plays "Carol of the Bells" as an instrumental at Christmastime - without the words, it's just a bunch of meaningless, repetitive notes. Plus, this is a movie for kids, they don't know Gilbert and Sullivan! There simply must have been a better choice of songs for the minions to perform.
Honestly, I think I could have waited for this one to appear on premium cable or Netflix, now that I rushed out to see this in the theater before it went away, but perhaps I shouldn't have bothered. Oh well, what's done is done, and at least I'm no longer curious about how good the third film in this franchise turned out to be.
Also starring the voices of Steve Carell (last seen in "Café Society"), Kristen Wiig (last seen in "Masterminds"), Trey Parker (last seen in "Bowling for Columbine"), Miranda Cosgrove (last heard in "Despicable Me 2"), Dana Gaier (ditto), Nev Scharrel, Pierre Coffin (last heard in "Minions"), Julie Andrews (last seen in "Torn Curtain"), Jenny Slate (last heard in "The Secret Life of Pets"), Michael Beattie (ditto), Andy Nyman (also last heard in "Minions").
RATING: 3 out of 10 dance fights
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