Year 17, Day 38 - 2/7/25 - Movie #4,938
BEFORE: Sally Field carries over from "Say It Isn't So", and I have to apologize for the tonal whiplash here - I realize I'm going from a silly, stupid, gross-out comedy about a guy maybe sleeping with his sister to a dramatic, thought-provoking film about gay relationships and dealing with a serious illness. Well, we're looking at all aspects of all types of romance stories, it can sometimes be a very broad spectrum. What can I say? Mea culpa - one film delighted coming up with the term "fagnostic" for someone who hasn't decided if they're gay or not, I'll just let you guess which film that was. It wasn't me, I'm just the messenger here.
I was at 31 seen out of 82, and I've seen 5 out of today's 12: "Captain Blood", "All Quiet on the Western Front", "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri", "Mildred Pierce" and "Mrs. Miniver" BUT if I want to drop in "Places in the Heart", this movie from 1984 with Sally Field in it, that would be SIX instead of five. I'm not sure it's a romance per se, but, well, the title sounds like it is. Let me think about it, I was going to drop in "Murphy's Romance" tomorrow but maybe I can squeeze in both. 37 seen out of 94 would take me back up to 39.3%
THE PLOT: The story of Michael Ausiello and Kit Cowan's relationship, which takes a tragic turn when Cowan is diagnosed with terminal cancer.
AFTER: Since this film is based on a true story, here's a true story of my own: since taking the job at the movie theater three years ago, I've had the occasion, several times, to work behind-the-scenes at a film festival called NewFest, which, yup, specializes in highlighting queer stories. So yeah, I've managed some lobby parties where there were drag queens. The theater also hosted the red-carpet premiere of the film "Fire Island", which I haven't been able to watch yet, but that film had the single LARGEST attendance I've seen at the theater, and they filled the BIG theater up TWICE. So you can put your head in the sand and try to tell yourself there's not a big market for gay movies, and you would be 100% wrong. Oh, yeah, there's the director of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch", he came up to me and asked a question - dude, I'm not even gay, and I recognized John Cameron Mitchell.
Earlier this year at NewFest there was a screening of a film called "High Tide", and after it a Q&A panel with the cast, which included Bill Irwin. Most of my co-workers at the theater didn't know who that even was, I had to show them the video for "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and explain that he's the guy in it who isn't Bobby McFerrin or Robin Williams. But hell, I know the guy from the FX show "Legion" and a dozen other things. Anyway he took the opportunity on the stage to thank the gay community for accepting him in this movie, and he apparently learned a lot from being in the movie, because he was raised to be a bit homophobic, and he's trying to do better. This was met with awkward silence from a large crowd of gay people, and man, I was thinking, "Yeah, maybe read the room before you declare yourself to be a homophobe, just a thought." But now this kind of makes no sense, because Bill Irwin was in THIS film that came out two years earlier, in which he plays the father of a gay man who seems pretty OK with his son's orientation. (sorry, sexual identity, orientation was my generation's term.)
The point of the film here, and I know this may sound shocking to some people, is that gay relationships are a lot like straight relationships, at least in the important ways. There was a time that nobody thought this way, that some junk science told us there was something inherently different about gay people, that they were somehow biologically incapable of forming monogamous relationships, that they just aren't wired that way. Well, the truth is that there are a lot of straight people who are ALSO not wired that way, or else they're just not good at being faithful to their spouses. This goes double for famous people and Republicans, I think, because it turns out that men (maybe women too, but especially men) are only as faithful as their situations allow them to be. Given the opportunity to cheat, some people will, some people won't, gay, straight, bi, doesn't matter (and famous people have fans, therefore, more opportunities, more likely to cheat.). The non-famous people, without so many temptations, find it a little easier, maybe - nobody to cheat WITH, therefore no cheating.
And there may be a discrepancy in any couple - one may be more likely to stray than the other. One person may have more experiences than the other, because there are introverts and extroverts in this world, there's no one way to be, maybe it's a sliding scale. You can be someone likely to cheat and be married to someone who isn't, yeah, that means there may be something to deal with there in the future. That brings us to the case of Michael, a writer for TV Guide who has a large collection of Smurfs memorabilia, and Kit, a photographer who travels around the world and enjoys nightclubs and has never had a steady boyfriend, never needed one before. You can kind of read between the lines here and figure out which one is the introvert and which one's the extrovert, from there it doesn't take a lot to figure out who's better at being faithful.
Again, it's not a gay or straight thing, all couples go through this, after that honeymoon period ends, a few years later they could settle into that routine where they're basically just roommates, the sex-citement is gone, and then they have to make some decisions - stick together and lead a happy, satisfying but mostly celibate life with a long-term partner, or burn that to the ground and go out and party, dump Mr. Right for Mr. Right Now. Well, gay people, you wanted the right to get married, and you got it, now a few other things are naturally going to come along with that. Gay divorce is one, and the possibility of being in a loving but sex-free marriage is another. Again, don't blame me, I'm just the messenger.
Michael and Kit have 12 years together before they're in therapy together and their sex life deteriorates, Michael's drinking too much and Kit's smoking too much weed, and they're both watching too much TV, only not the same shows. Yep, that sounds like a marriage. Michael also suspects that Kit's having an affair with his co-worker, Sebastian, and when Kit admits it, then Kit moves out for a while until they can sort this whole thing out. But that's when he starts feeling sick, and when he's diagnosed with cancer, they reconcile and Kit moves back in with Michael. During Kit's various treatments they do decide to get married for real, in the legal sense, but come on, they were already married in every other possible sense of the word. They were right on the same track as any straight couple together for that long - no sex life together, couples counseling, affair with the co-worker, spending time apart. At that point Michael's like a woman whose boyfriend is going off to World War II, he might as well just get married for the death benefits.
Oops, spoiler alert. Well, at least it's right there in the title, and the film kind of starts with the ending, so I'm not really giving anything away here.
Directed by: Michael Showalter (director of "The Eyes of Tammy Faye")
Also starring Jim Parsons (last seen in "The Normal Heart"), Ben Aldridge (last seen in "Knock at the Cabin"), Josh Pais (last seen in "Year of the Dog"), Allegra Heart, Jeffery Self (last seen in "The High Note"), Braxton Fannin, Brody Caines, Tara Summers (last seen in "Driven"), Corey Saucier, Megan Irminger, Nikki M. James (last seen in "All Is Bright"), Sadie Scott, Eleni Yiovas, Bill Irwin (last seen in "Rustin"), Jason Gotay, Nhumi Threadgill (last seen in "Confess, Fletch"), David Marshall Grant (last seen in "The Stepford Wives"), Antoni Porokowski, Supriya Ganesh, Winslow Bright (last seen in "Dumb Money"), Lori Hammel (last seen in "Puzzle"), Erica Cho (last seen in "I Don't Know How She Does It"), Grace Porter, Kate Pittard, Eric Elizaga, Seth Barrish (last seen in "Somewhere in Queens"), Shunori Ramanathan (last seen in "Worth"), Christine Renee Miller, Paco Lozano, Claudia Hill, Ashley Marie Arnold, Ken Holmes with archive footage of RuPaul (last heard in "Trolls Band Together"), Keri Russell (last seen in "Dark Skies").
RATING: 5 out of 10 Christmas cards
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