BEFORE: Of course, now I'm kicking myself because I had to choose between two schedules - one that got me to see "Avengers: Infinity War" shortly after its May 4 premiere, and one that allowed me a couple of weeks to see it, because naturally I assumed that the theaters would be very crowded during opening week, and I might have to wait a while, even if I went on a Monday or a Wednesday. Then they went ahead and moved the opening date of that film UP (forward?) to April 27, so it opens in a couple of days, and I don't have the space in my schedule for it. As things stand right now, if I stick to my current schedule, I don't think I can possibly link to it until May 17, which is killing me. I can't stay off the internet and avoid all spoilers until then! I'm going to have to sneak the film in next week if I can, and then post the review as planned, a couple weeks later.
I chose the path to get there that would clear the most "unlinkable" films off of my list, tomorrow's film is a great example of that, it has very few linkable actors in it. But watching "Three Billboards" allowed me to get to this one, and this one links to THAT one, so mission (nearly) accomplished. And watching 1 film on Netflix and FIVE more Academy screeners between now and "Avengers" will allow me to clear off several more "near-unsinkable" films. And the extra advantage of delaying my "Avengers: Infinity War" post is that it will put it nearer to "Solo" on May 25, and those films share two actors. I can even fit one film in between them if I want - another film which shares both of those actors, oddly enough - in order to minimize the down-time.
Now, you may ask, why not follow the Woody Harrelson link out of "Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri"? With 6 more films starring Harrelson on the list, why not knock a few of them off here? Ah, but Woody Harrelson is also in "Solo", and in another film I'm saving for back-to-school time, so I'm going to get there, just not now. I'll circle back to Woody in mid-May, with at least 3 films, but possibly as many as 5. I'll have to re-check how things line up then to be sure. Instead, Sam Rockwell carries over from "Three Billboards".
THE PLOT: A girl falls for the "perfect" guy, who happens to have a very fatal flaw: he's a hitman on the run from the crime cartels who employ him.
AFTER: After "dark comedy", probably the hardest tone to pull off in a movie is "tongue-in-cheek". How do you clue the audience in that not everything on screen is meant to be taken seriously, without falling all the way forward into complete parody? This one is right there, balanced on the edge - if it had been any sillier, it would have been outright ridiculous, and if had been any more serious, I'd be sitting here saying, "But wait, how is THAT possible? And THAT?"
What we're presented with here is so gosh-darn improbable that about the only thing you can do is perhaps shrug and say, "Oh, well, I guess this just isn't meant to be taken seriously..." and then at least maybe you can turn off your mind, relax and float downstream. Or maybe you can't, as always, your mileage may vary, check with your doctor first, and do not watch if you are allergic to certain medications. Because to believe in this film, you have to believe that a "bad person" also deserves to be happy in romance, that a hit-man can be brain-damaged or psychotic in a way that also comes off as "charming", and that this hit-man's personal baggage/quirks/neuroses will somehow perfectly off-set those of a normal woman who's been unlucky in love.
Surely there's some kind of Venn diagram for this, where her abandonment issues and self-consciousness are in one circle, and his martial arts skills, ruthlessness and cockiness are in another circle, and then maybe there's a little point in the middle where the circles overlap, and that's where they can see eye-to-eye. Still, I'd like to see the paperwork on this.
The film opens with Martha dressing seductively, taking a few selfies, cooking some food, and then sitting on the couch, seductively waiting for someone. Sorry for the mild spoiler here, but her boyfriend arrives home in the arms of another woman, passionately kissing her, and Martha is crushed. But I have to call a NITPICK POINT here, because what man who's cheating on his girlfriend would bring "the other woman" back to some place where his girlfriend was likely to be? Either he and Martha live together, which would create too much of a possibility that this conflict would happen, or perhaps she broke into his place to cook this nice romantic meal for him, but then we've got another story problem. OK, so maybe it's HIS house/apartment, and she's got a key, but then we're back to the first problem, that a man wouldn't bring another woman back to some place where his steady girlfriend might be. Already I can tell I've put more thought into this than the screenwriter ever did. My ruling is that this situation would never play out like this.
It's notable that her boyfriend turns this around on her, somehow finds a way to make HIS cheating her fault ("You're always stifling me!") and then when that fails, tries to turn the whole thing into a threesome. ("You said we should try new things in bed...") Yeah, nice try. Men are pigs.
Rockwell's character here demonstrates some near-superhuman fighting abilities, and that makes this film part of the trend that was dominating action movies about two or three years ago, from Batman to John Wick to Jack Reacher to the Equalizer, where they all this ability to "read" the room and act without thinking. But there's another tie-in, which I didn't realize until I read the Trivia section on IMDB - there's a mention here of "Project Ultra", and that suggests a possible link to the film "American Ultra", which was also written by Max Landis. He also wrote the TV series "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency", which also featured a CIA program for people with extrasensory abilities, and that suggests all of his works may take place in the same reality.
However, it still beggars belief that Francis could pass on his special fighting abilities to Martha, just by having her concentrate and tossing a few knives at her. It's fun, and quite an arresting visual, but come on, how is THAT possible?
Also starring Anna Kendrick (last seen in "The Accountant"), Tim Roth (last seen in "The Hateful Eight"), James Ransone, Anson Mount (last seen in "Boiler Room"), Michael Eklund (last seen in "The Call"), RZA (last seen in "Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping"), Katie Nehra, Jaiden Kaine, Douglas M. Griffin (last seen in "Deepwater Horizon"), Luis Da Silva Jr. (last seen in "Triple 9"), Elena Sanchez (last seen in "Bright"), Garrett Kruithof, Christopher Matthew Cook, Ross Gallo, Wendy McColm.
RATING: 5 out of 10 boxes of condoms
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