Day 212 - 7/31/09 - Movie #208
BEFORE: I've been meaning to get to this one for a while - it's another of those alternate-universe films (I think). It's set in the 1930's or 40's, but with futuristic spaceships. Another film that got a really bad rap - did it deserve it?
THE PLOT: After New York City is attacked by giant flying robots, a reporter teams up with a pilot in search of their origin, as well as the reason for the disappearances of famous scientists around the world.
AFTER: It's definitely a visually stunning film, with giant robots, metallic winged flying machines, and jet-packs, which are all anachronistic. The color palette and stark lighting make it all look like an old 1930's movie serial or comic book, combined with Soviet propaganda posters. Unfortunately, the plot is extremely simplistic - "Machines attack NYC!" and rather short on details.
This is a movie that wants to be an "Indiana Jones" movie (or at least has the same inspiration), but comes up short. I did like the interesting way that they worked in a cameo by the late Laurence Olivier though. The other actors are either very flat (Jude Law) or cartoonish (Gwyneth Paltrow), there doesn't seem to be a happy medium.
RATING: 6 out of 10 laser beams
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
The Golden Compass
Day 211 - 7/30/09 - Movie #207
BEFORE: Another fantasy movie based on a children's book, this one got really bad reviews and seems really complicated. Let's see if it lives up (down?) to its rep...
THE PLOT: In a parallel universe, young Lyra Belacqua journeys to the far North to save her best friend and other kidnapped children from terrible experiments by a mysterious organization.
AFTER: Man, and I thought "Dungeons & Dragons" was confusing - I had to look up the plot of this film on the web, right after watching it, to even START to understand it. As best as I can tell, in this parallel universe people's souls are housed in animal companions called "daemons", if a person's daemon gets hurt they feel it, and if they die, their daemon dies also. Somewhere up North, someone is drawing power in the form of "dust" from another universe (dust being a substance that exists between universes...or something) Also, poor kids are being kidnapped or killed, and one little girl has the power to tell the truth by reading the symbols on a magical compass. That's it, as far as I get before getting confused...
I can't recall if this movie was criticized for being overly Christian (like the "Narnia" series) or somewhat Satanic - but if they didn't want parents to freak out, they should have called the animals "familiars", instead of a word that sounds like "demons" - it's not like you can see the name's spelling in a movie! The daemons of children are constantly shifting, they can look like almost any animal before they "settle" into one form - but in a movie, this makes it incredibly difficult to follow, with characters that are always changing shape!
The best character is a giant polar bear, voiced by Ian McKellen - if you think polar bears are kinda neat, and want to see them talk, fight and drink booze, this is the movie for you! Sam Elliott manages to (once again) make a movie better, and Nicole Kidman plays a stone-cold bitch! Unfortunately, this all feels like a set-up for a more exciting sequel that may never get made - it raises a lot of questions that don't get answered.
RATING: 4 out of 10 parkas.
BEFORE: Another fantasy movie based on a children's book, this one got really bad reviews and seems really complicated. Let's see if it lives up (down?) to its rep...
THE PLOT: In a parallel universe, young Lyra Belacqua journeys to the far North to save her best friend and other kidnapped children from terrible experiments by a mysterious organization.
AFTER: Man, and I thought "Dungeons & Dragons" was confusing - I had to look up the plot of this film on the web, right after watching it, to even START to understand it. As best as I can tell, in this parallel universe people's souls are housed in animal companions called "daemons", if a person's daemon gets hurt they feel it, and if they die, their daemon dies also. Somewhere up North, someone is drawing power in the form of "dust" from another universe (dust being a substance that exists between universes...or something) Also, poor kids are being kidnapped or killed, and one little girl has the power to tell the truth by reading the symbols on a magical compass. That's it, as far as I get before getting confused...
I can't recall if this movie was criticized for being overly Christian (like the "Narnia" series) or somewhat Satanic - but if they didn't want parents to freak out, they should have called the animals "familiars", instead of a word that sounds like "demons" - it's not like you can see the name's spelling in a movie! The daemons of children are constantly shifting, they can look like almost any animal before they "settle" into one form - but in a movie, this makes it incredibly difficult to follow, with characters that are always changing shape!
The best character is a giant polar bear, voiced by Ian McKellen - if you think polar bears are kinda neat, and want to see them talk, fight and drink booze, this is the movie for you! Sam Elliott manages to (once again) make a movie better, and Nicole Kidman plays a stone-cold bitch! Unfortunately, this all feels like a set-up for a more exciting sequel that may never get made - it raises a lot of questions that don't get answered.
RATING: 4 out of 10 parkas.
Bridge to Terabithia
Day 210 - 7/29/09 - Movie #206
BEFORE: It's something of a kid's story, yes, but I'm in a fantasy-film vibe, and I'm trying to make up for lost time.
THE PLOT: A preteen's life is changed after befriending the new girl at school. Together, they create Terabithia, a land of monsters, trolls, ogres, and giants and rule as king and queen.
AFTER: I guess I was expecting something a little more like the Narnia books, or "Alice in Wonderland", where the kids actually go (or seem to go) into a fantasy realm. For this one you have to sort of do what kids do, and imagine the fantasy realm overlaid over the real one. There are special-effects trolls and other creatures, but you're always aware that you're seeing them through the imagination of the young boy and girl.
And just like in "Wizard of Oz", other people they know in the real world manifest themselves as some of the fantasy creatures, and their experiences in imagination-land help them overcome obstacles in the real world. But sometimes, even for kids, tragedy strikes, and no amount of imagination can overcome a real-world death. I'm not sure that this film sends exactly the right message - using the fantasy realm to sort of escape from a real-world tragedy isn't always the best answer.
Still, it's a workable little film that doesn't overdo the special effects (which sometimes makes them less...special) and might encourage kids to face up to bullies (again, well-intentioned but not always the best advice) and dare to dream.
RATING: 5 out of 10 Twinkies
BEFORE: It's something of a kid's story, yes, but I'm in a fantasy-film vibe, and I'm trying to make up for lost time.
THE PLOT: A preteen's life is changed after befriending the new girl at school. Together, they create Terabithia, a land of monsters, trolls, ogres, and giants and rule as king and queen.
AFTER: I guess I was expecting something a little more like the Narnia books, or "Alice in Wonderland", where the kids actually go (or seem to go) into a fantasy realm. For this one you have to sort of do what kids do, and imagine the fantasy realm overlaid over the real one. There are special-effects trolls and other creatures, but you're always aware that you're seeing them through the imagination of the young boy and girl.
And just like in "Wizard of Oz", other people they know in the real world manifest themselves as some of the fantasy creatures, and their experiences in imagination-land help them overcome obstacles in the real world. But sometimes, even for kids, tragedy strikes, and no amount of imagination can overcome a real-world death. I'm not sure that this film sends exactly the right message - using the fantasy realm to sort of escape from a real-world tragedy isn't always the best answer.
Still, it's a workable little film that doesn't overdo the special effects (which sometimes makes them less...special) and might encourage kids to face up to bullies (again, well-intentioned but not always the best advice) and dare to dream.
RATING: 5 out of 10 Twinkies
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Dungeons & Dragons
Day 209 - 7/28/09 - Movie #205
BEFORE: Just back from Comic-Con, and straight into a beer dinner, which doesn't exactly help me fall back into a regular routine. So it's going to be tough to catch up...
THE PLOT: Emperess Savina Rules over the magical empire Izmer. The young thieves Ridley and Snails get involved with her quest to find the legendary Scepter of Savrille. With this most desirable magical wand she could have the power to rule over the Red Dragons and she would then be able to provide freedom and equality amongst all people.
AFTER: This plot was extremely confusing - I couldn't tell what was happening most of the time. Was this a quest for a gem, or a map, or a scepter, or what? And there's this council arguing over - oh, I give up! Look, I've played Dungeons & Dragons, and this movie has NONE of its excitement. Jeremy Irons (again?) is the villain this time, but other than fighting the Empress, I couldn't tell what his evil plan was either. Nothing gets explained - not the rules of the conflict, or how magic works, or how thieves detect traps - all that is sort of skipped over. Some of the traps are kind of cool, but for the most part this is just a pile of junk thrown together.
What's the point of assembling a ragtag team of a thief, a mage, an elf and a dwarf, if only one of them is able to enter the dungeon? D&D is all about characters working TOGETHER to go on quests and find treasure. All the other characters just seem very useless! And are dragons good, or evil? And if the Empress can control them, why does she need the control rod? It just makes no sense.
RATING: 3 out of 10 hit points.
BEFORE: Just back from Comic-Con, and straight into a beer dinner, which doesn't exactly help me fall back into a regular routine. So it's going to be tough to catch up...
THE PLOT: Emperess Savina Rules over the magical empire Izmer. The young thieves Ridley and Snails get involved with her quest to find the legendary Scepter of Savrille. With this most desirable magical wand she could have the power to rule over the Red Dragons and she would then be able to provide freedom and equality amongst all people.
AFTER: This plot was extremely confusing - I couldn't tell what was happening most of the time. Was this a quest for a gem, or a map, or a scepter, or what? And there's this council arguing over - oh, I give up! Look, I've played Dungeons & Dragons, and this movie has NONE of its excitement. Jeremy Irons (again?) is the villain this time, but other than fighting the Empress, I couldn't tell what his evil plan was either. Nothing gets explained - not the rules of the conflict, or how magic works, or how thieves detect traps - all that is sort of skipped over. Some of the traps are kind of cool, but for the most part this is just a pile of junk thrown together.
What's the point of assembling a ragtag team of a thief, a mage, an elf and a dwarf, if only one of them is able to enter the dungeon? D&D is all about characters working TOGETHER to go on quests and find treasure. All the other characters just seem very useless! And are dragons good, or evil? And if the Empress can control them, why does she need the control rod? It just makes no sense.
RATING: 3 out of 10 hit points.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Eragon
Day 204-208 - 7/23-7/27/09 - Movie #204
BEFORE: Day 2 of Comic-Con, or the end of the first full day, last night was the Preview Night, during which time I sold exactly 1 book, taking in $5. I could have gone to the SDCC 40th Anniversary party, but it probably would have been packed - so I ate dinner with my booth-mates at the Tin Fish, then schlepped back up the hill to my hotel, with a quick stop at the CVS to load up on snacks and supplies for tomorrow.
(Break)
And, actually I was UN-successful in finishing this movie while in San Diego. There was no DVD player in my room this year, and the volume was so low on the laptop computer (and I was so tired from working at the booth) that I was lulled to sleep after about 10 minutes of the film. There was just no way for me to watch films while at the Con - I could have gone to the late-night film screenings at the convention center, but that would have made it difficult to stay on NYC time and get up in time to set up the booth for the next morning's business. Plus I wanted to spend my evenings at my usual haunts - brewpubs, mostly. I'm back in NYC now, and I can give this movie a proper viewing - but now I'm four days behind schedule. My penance will be to watch a chain of fantasy films, then some comic-book films, in honor of the Con.
So how was the Con? The usual blend of work + fun, celebrities and nobodies, tedium and excitement. Our booth-neighbors were the same as last year on all sides, so it mostly felt like being in a recurring dream (or perhaps waking up from one...). For more commentary and photos, please visit my Flickr site at:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/66064297@N00/sets/72157621745804571/
THE PLOT: In his homeland of Alagaesia, a farm boy happens upon a dragon's egg -- a discovery that leads him on a predestined journey where he's the one person who can defend his home against an evil king.
AFTER: This is the story of a lowly blond farmboy, who finds out he has a mystical ability, and then his uncle gets murdered by the villain's men as he sets out to rescue a princess. Seems like I've seen that storyline before somewhere else... Instead of the Force, however, his ability is dragon-riding, and telepathy with a blue dragon. Interesting how mental communication with the dragon probably cut the film's animation budget significantly - is that too cynical of me?
Jeremy Irons takes the Kenobi-like mentor role, and John Malkovich and Robert Carlyle play the villains. It's still essentially "Star Wars" recast in the medieval fantasy world of "Lord of the Rings", with bits of "Harry Potter" thrown in - so why wasn't it a bigger hit? Admittedly, there are some story problems - like how can one dragon signal the return of the dragon riders (plural). Don't you need, like a male and a female dragon to make more baby dragons?
I know this movie was adapted from a book, maybe they left a lot of little details out? The film clearly sets up a sequel, but who knows if it will ever get made...
RATING: 6 out of 10 orcs - oops, I mean Urgals.
BEFORE: Day 2 of Comic-Con, or the end of the first full day, last night was the Preview Night, during which time I sold exactly 1 book, taking in $5. I could have gone to the SDCC 40th Anniversary party, but it probably would have been packed - so I ate dinner with my booth-mates at the Tin Fish, then schlepped back up the hill to my hotel, with a quick stop at the CVS to load up on snacks and supplies for tomorrow.
(Break)
And, actually I was UN-successful in finishing this movie while in San Diego. There was no DVD player in my room this year, and the volume was so low on the laptop computer (and I was so tired from working at the booth) that I was lulled to sleep after about 10 minutes of the film. There was just no way for me to watch films while at the Con - I could have gone to the late-night film screenings at the convention center, but that would have made it difficult to stay on NYC time and get up in time to set up the booth for the next morning's business. Plus I wanted to spend my evenings at my usual haunts - brewpubs, mostly. I'm back in NYC now, and I can give this movie a proper viewing - but now I'm four days behind schedule. My penance will be to watch a chain of fantasy films, then some comic-book films, in honor of the Con.
So how was the Con? The usual blend of work + fun, celebrities and nobodies, tedium and excitement. Our booth-neighbors were the same as last year on all sides, so it mostly felt like being in a recurring dream (or perhaps waking up from one...). For more commentary and photos, please visit my Flickr site at:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/66064297@N00/sets/72157621745804571/
THE PLOT: In his homeland of Alagaesia, a farm boy happens upon a dragon's egg -- a discovery that leads him on a predestined journey where he's the one person who can defend his home against an evil king.
AFTER: This is the story of a lowly blond farmboy, who finds out he has a mystical ability, and then his uncle gets murdered by the villain's men as he sets out to rescue a princess. Seems like I've seen that storyline before somewhere else... Instead of the Force, however, his ability is dragon-riding, and telepathy with a blue dragon. Interesting how mental communication with the dragon probably cut the film's animation budget significantly - is that too cynical of me?
Jeremy Irons takes the Kenobi-like mentor role, and John Malkovich and Robert Carlyle play the villains. It's still essentially "Star Wars" recast in the medieval fantasy world of "Lord of the Rings", with bits of "Harry Potter" thrown in - so why wasn't it a bigger hit? Admittedly, there are some story problems - like how can one dragon signal the return of the dragon riders (plural). Don't you need, like a male and a female dragon to make more baby dragons?
I know this movie was adapted from a book, maybe they left a lot of little details out? The film clearly sets up a sequel, but who knows if it will ever get made...
RATING: 6 out of 10 orcs - oops, I mean Urgals.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Stardust
Day 203 - 7/22/09 - Movie #203
BEFORE: The last De Niro film (for now) - I've got just enough time to watch this film before heading to the airport - for my annual trip to Comic-Con, of course. I didn't have time for every single De Niro film, just the ones in my collection - I'd like to track down and watch "Heat" and maybe "Ronin" someday...
THE PLOT: In a countryside town bordering on a magical land, a young man makes a promise to his beloved that he'll retrieve a fallen star by venturing into the magical realm.
AFTER: I did read the book by Neil Gaiman that this was based on, though it was a while back and I didn't remember all the elements of the complex plot. The movie seemed to leave some big gaps and didn't do the best job of explaining everything - like where exactly is the fantasy realm, in relation to England? What powers exactly do the witches have, what are the rules of succession for the princes to become king, and where does the unicorn come from? It just seems like the story is being written on the fly...
It's got elements seen in a lot of other fantasy stories, thrown into a blender, to complicate the story of Tristan (who might be half magical himself) who crosses over into the magic realm to find a star, which looks an awful lot like Claire Danes (not that that's such a bad thing). But damn, Michelle Pfeiffer looks good, even as an old(er) witch. Also a good cameo by Ricky Gervais as a talkative mythical shopkeeper, with Peter O'Toole as the King and Rupert Everett as one of the 7 princes who hope to be heirs to the throne of Stormhold.
RATING: 7 out of 10 lightning bolts - even with a couple plotholes, it's still a very thrilling fantasy quest.
DENIR-O-METER: 8 - though he doesn't show up until halfway into the film, De Niro's Capt. Shakespeare - a ruthless sky pirate who's also light in the loafers - is the most interesting character in the film. But seeing the former Travis Bickle dancing in a dress? Some things you just can't un-see.
That's it, pack up the DeNir-O-Meter, I've worn it out. I'll try to post reports from San Diego if I can figure out how to get a laptop to access wi-fi inside the convention center.
BEFORE: The last De Niro film (for now) - I've got just enough time to watch this film before heading to the airport - for my annual trip to Comic-Con, of course. I didn't have time for every single De Niro film, just the ones in my collection - I'd like to track down and watch "Heat" and maybe "Ronin" someday...
THE PLOT: In a countryside town bordering on a magical land, a young man makes a promise to his beloved that he'll retrieve a fallen star by venturing into the magical realm.
AFTER: I did read the book by Neil Gaiman that this was based on, though it was a while back and I didn't remember all the elements of the complex plot. The movie seemed to leave some big gaps and didn't do the best job of explaining everything - like where exactly is the fantasy realm, in relation to England? What powers exactly do the witches have, what are the rules of succession for the princes to become king, and where does the unicorn come from? It just seems like the story is being written on the fly...
It's got elements seen in a lot of other fantasy stories, thrown into a blender, to complicate the story of Tristan (who might be half magical himself) who crosses over into the magic realm to find a star, which looks an awful lot like Claire Danes (not that that's such a bad thing). But damn, Michelle Pfeiffer looks good, even as an old(er) witch. Also a good cameo by Ricky Gervais as a talkative mythical shopkeeper, with Peter O'Toole as the King and Rupert Everett as one of the 7 princes who hope to be heirs to the throne of Stormhold.
RATING: 7 out of 10 lightning bolts - even with a couple plotholes, it's still a very thrilling fantasy quest.
DENIR-O-METER: 8 - though he doesn't show up until halfway into the film, De Niro's Capt. Shakespeare - a ruthless sky pirate who's also light in the loafers - is the most interesting character in the film. But seeing the former Travis Bickle dancing in a dress? Some things you just can't un-see.
That's it, pack up the DeNir-O-Meter, I've worn it out. I'll try to post reports from San Diego if I can figure out how to get a laptop to access wi-fi inside the convention center.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
New York, New York
Day 202 - 7/21/09 - Movie #202
BEFORE: You see what I did there? Following last night's New York-themed movie with another one...ironic because I'm packing for San Diego at the same time... Wait, the running time is 2 hours, 43 minutes? I don't know if I can stay up late enough to watch this whole movie - I wish I had watched it on the weekend, when I had a little more time. I bought this DVD last week at the $5.99 DVD store, on my boss' recommendation.
THE PLOT: An egotistical saxophone player and a young singer meet on V-J Day and embark upon a strained and rocky romance, even as their careers begin a long uphill climb.
AFTER: De Niro and Liza Minnelli? They seem like a horribly mismatched couple, except for when they're performing together in the swing band. It's an uneasy partnership, made difficult by De Niro's Jimmy Doyle, who's a typical 1940's male chauvinist. When Minnelli's Francine tries to have an opinion on anything, he has a Travis Bickle-like tantrum.
Unfortunately, the segments between the tantrums and the musical numbers are long, slow, and fairly pointless - this could have been edited a LOT tighter. It's also unfortunate that Jimmy and Francine can't ever be successful at the same time - when one's up, the other's down, and the one who's down is always jealous of the other's success. Plus it gets confusing later in the film, with Liza Minnelli playing Francine Evans playing Peggy Smith in a Broadway revue.
RATING: 4 out of 10 microphones. I might have ranked it higher if I found Liza attractive, but she always has that astonished look, like she was just punched in the face.
DENIR-O-METER: 7 - Jimmy Doyle is actually a complex character, representing the way I think a lot of men treated women back in the 1940's, as they reacted to women becoming more independent. It's a combination of love, disrepect and borderline abuse that today might be diagnosed as bi-polar, but back then was all too common.
22 De Niro films down, and just 1 more to go...
BEFORE: You see what I did there? Following last night's New York-themed movie with another one...ironic because I'm packing for San Diego at the same time... Wait, the running time is 2 hours, 43 minutes? I don't know if I can stay up late enough to watch this whole movie - I wish I had watched it on the weekend, when I had a little more time. I bought this DVD last week at the $5.99 DVD store, on my boss' recommendation.
THE PLOT: An egotistical saxophone player and a young singer meet on V-J Day and embark upon a strained and rocky romance, even as their careers begin a long uphill climb.
AFTER: De Niro and Liza Minnelli? They seem like a horribly mismatched couple, except for when they're performing together in the swing band. It's an uneasy partnership, made difficult by De Niro's Jimmy Doyle, who's a typical 1940's male chauvinist. When Minnelli's Francine tries to have an opinion on anything, he has a Travis Bickle-like tantrum.
Unfortunately, the segments between the tantrums and the musical numbers are long, slow, and fairly pointless - this could have been edited a LOT tighter. It's also unfortunate that Jimmy and Francine can't ever be successful at the same time - when one's up, the other's down, and the one who's down is always jealous of the other's success. Plus it gets confusing later in the film, with Liza Minnelli playing Francine Evans playing Peggy Smith in a Broadway revue.
RATING: 4 out of 10 microphones. I might have ranked it higher if I found Liza attractive, but she always has that astonished look, like she was just punched in the face.
DENIR-O-METER: 7 - Jimmy Doyle is actually a complex character, representing the way I think a lot of men treated women back in the 1940's, as they reacted to women becoming more independent. It's a combination of love, disrepect and borderline abuse that today might be diagnosed as bi-polar, but back then was all too common.
22 De Niro films down, and just 1 more to go...
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